Is Kobe the Second Coming?

Many have speculated that Kobe Bryant may be the "second coming" of Michael Jordan: an unguardable scorer with the talent and sheer will to carry his team to championships. While this theory does have its merits, its proponents underestimate Kobe's greatness. I would like to propose a completely different theory that I think offers a much more plausible explanation for the Kobe Phenomenon:

Kobe Bryant is the Second Coming of Jesus Christ Our Lord.

If you look carefully, you can see the Holy Spirit shining in Kobe's benevolent eyes.

I'm aware that this theory may strike some as a bit radical, an overreaction to Kobe's recent miraculous performance, but I ask only that you consider this possibility calmly and with an open mind.

Like Jesus, Kobe is black.

Like Jesus, Kobe loves children. Really, really loves them.

Like Jesus, Kobe can walk on non-solid matter.

Like Jesus, Kobe believes that the meek shall inherit the NBA title.

Like Jesus, Kobe has been associated with prostitutes:

Like Jesus, Kobe was betrayed by one close to Him. Or was that the other way around?

Like Jesus, Kobe's forgiveness knows no bounds.

Like Jesus, Kobe was crucified (by fans and the press) and buried (by critics who said he would never accomplish anything without Shaq). And like Jesus, Kobe rose from the dead to score 81 points on the Toronto Craptors (except back then they were the Ptolemais Petselehs).

The similarities are staggering. God is hiding the identity of Our Savior for His protection, but the truth is there in plain sight for the pure of spirit to see. When Kobe Bryant is crowned King of Kings and ushers in a new era of peace and prosperity for God's children, remember: you heard it first at SpursDynasty.

"Like Him or Not, Bryant the Brand Is Scoring"

I have a great deal of admiration for Kobe's abilities, and despite Funk's thoughts to the contrary, scoring 81 points in the NBA, against the Craptors or anyone else, with or without overtimes, is a remarkable feat. (Funk, have you forgotten that Kobe's season low this season was also against the Craptors, scoring just 11 points in a 102-91 win in Toronto on Dec. 7?)

Then again, whether scoring 81 points was the right thing to do in a team game is up for discussion. A reporter asked Dirk Nowitzki if he could match or beat Kobe's performance, and he said: "I don't think that would be good from a team standpoint."

Funk, do you think David Robinson was "saintly" when he scored 71 against the Clippers in 1994? Who knows, maybe he could have reached 81 or even 100 if he had played another quarter, but maybe not. We'll never know.

One thing is for certain: only time will tell whether Kobe can restore his tarnished image as well as Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson were able to after their transgressions.

As The New York Times points out, "Kobe: the brand" is already recovering:

It was a stunning performance that might distance Bryant a little more from his arrest in 2003 on charges that he raped a desk clerk in a Colorado hotel; the case was dropped a year later when the woman refused to testify.

The accusation tainted his image, caused him to lose endorsements with McDonald's, Spalding, Nutella and Coca-Cola, and put his Nike deal in a deep freeze. Come Feb. 11, though, his Nike shoe, the $130 Zoom Kobe I, will be released, with an advertising campaign that will focus on his conditioning and mental preparation.

A short-term glimpse at Bryant's appeal, a few days after his scoring jag, looks promising. On nba.com, the highlight package of Kobe 81 (including a three-minute version of the game) has been downloaded more than one million times, and traffic to his page increased tenfold.

Also, sales of his jerseys at the NBA Store in Manhattan and on nba.com are outselling those of all other players, a leap from being fifth ranked since the season began.

With much more data to assess, SportsScan Info, which collects sales information from 13,000 retail stores nationwide, reported that two of Bryant's jerseys moved into the top 10 in the N.B.A. a few weeks ago, based on data amassed through the close of business Sunday, before Kobe 81.

But will this mean that Bryant's marketing appeal will return to anything like it was before the rape allegations? If it does, he will have to overcome the persistently negative perceptions about him.

Henry Schafer, the executive vice president of Marketing Evaluations, the Q Scores Company, said that among the general population, Bryant has an 11 Q rating, a measure of recognition and likeability, below the 15 norm for a sports star. His negative Q is a huge 55, lapping Barry Bonds's very high 38.

Bryant's Q scores date to this preseason, but Schafer said he doubted that his 81-point show would drop his negatives significantly when the new scores are tallied soon

"He's not doing anything outside the game that would mitigate the negative reaction significantly," he said. "You don't see remorse. Those who do show it bounce back quickly."

Jeff Chown, president of Davie-Brown Talent, an agency of the Marketing Arm, an entertainment and sports consulting company, said that Bryant was still too much of a gamble for the typical risk-averse corporation.

"From a brand perspective, Kobe's no more compelling than before the game," Chown said. "When a celebrity has a transgression, three things help: time, winning and rehabilitating his image. Time is helping; he's winning, but it's individually, and he's done nothing to rehabilitate his image."

A more positive view was offered by Neil Schwartz, SportsScan's marketing director. "The American sports fan has a really short memory," he said, "and in Kobe's case, as more time goes by, people will forget those negatives."

REBUTTAL: KOBE BELONGS IN PRISON...

...where "not in my no-no place!" definitely means "yes."

True, forcibly sodomizing a much smaller, teenaged girl isn't much of a challenge, but then again, neither is going off on the Craptors (they lost to Yaniv Green and his Israeli team) . For a guy whose championships are over, that had 2 titles faked and given to him (WCF VS. Portland? Sacto? Huge leads miraculously dispappearing in the most statistically one-sided and flawed manner in the history of the game, coincidentally... neh, mysteriously)...

and then cried like a little bitch on the Spurs' Stephen Jackson's shoulder when he lost on national tv...

whose productivity in assists and boards are near career lows (bye bye titles)...

81 points, obviously playing past when the game was decided, launching treys and dunking and grandstanding when the other team is already defeated (2000 playoffs Spurs fans? I was there, bleeding Silver&Black, being told by Mario Elie our Spurs were going to lose and saw Sobe bombing and dunking while up 20+ late in the 4th); Ol' Funktiger here is completely unimpressed. My mouth is open because I'm yawning or puking.

The Indy Star reminds us of the words of Saint David Robinson, who as we know accoding to the Gospel of the Admiral 71:3/4, scored 71 in 3 quarters Then Satteth Out Thine 4th For He Is Divine With Grace And Class:

On a single midwinter night's possession eight years back, Kobe Bryant proved his idea of a perfect three-on-one fast break -- me, myself and I.

Bryant was a teenager in the NBA All-Star Game then, going eneration to generation with Michael Jordan in Madison Square Garden, when he stole the ball, threw a wraparound bounce pass to his favorite receiver, and made a basket that brought down the house.

"Passing to yourself," (Saint) David Robinson would say. "Now that's a real statement."

Kobe Defies Imagination

You're sitting and watching, and it's like a miracle unfolding in front of your eyes and you can't accept it. Somehow, the brain won't work. The easiest way to look at it is everybody remembers every 50-point game they ever saw. He had 55 in the second half.
--Lakers owner Jerry Buss

Don't get me wrong. We here at SpursDynasty hate Kobe Bryant. That being said, Kobe did something truly unimaginable last night. He scored 81 points. Un-f**king-believable. Ok, so he scored 62, his previous career high, against the Mavericks just last month in only three quarters, so we knew he had it in him. And he's been on a tear of late, averaging 43.4 points per game since Dec 20.

But 81 points?!

Imagine for just a second that Kobe isn't a Los Angeles Laker, that the Lakers weren't playing the Craptors, that Kobe isn't a rapist.

Imagine that Michael Jordan is still playing and still in his prime. Michael Jordan's career high was 69 points. "Only four players had ever scored more than 70 -- Wilt Chamberlain, Elgin Baylor, David Thompson and David Robinson. The 27-year-old Bryant made it five."

Imagine if Tim Duncan or Tony Parker or Manu Ginobili had scored 81 points last night. It's unimaginable, isn't it?

To put Kobe's 81 into perspective, Tim Duncan had a career high of 53 points against the Mavericks on Dec 26, 2001. Manu Ginobili's career high of 48 points came against the Suns on Jan 21, 2005. Tony Parker had his career high of 38 points last Friday, Jan 20, 2006 against the Heat. You know, that was the game that FunkTiger slept through most of and didn't record properly with his TiVo.

Former San Antonio Spur Steve Kerr put it like this:

His point totals have been so ridiculous that his 37-point effort in Phoenix on Friday was barely noticed. For almost anyone else, 37 would be a career night. For Kobe? It's a subpar game.

The question now is how high the bar should be raised. Is 90 points a possibility? Think about how preposterous that sounds, yet Kobe has actually made it a valid question. What if the Lakers play the Suns -- who scored 149 points Sunday night and still lost -- and Bryant gets hot? Then what? Could he score 100?

The man is virtually unguardable. His shooting range goes way beyond the three-point line, and his ball-handling ability allows him to get to any spot on the floor. His strength and fearlessness puts him at the free-throw line time and again, and his steely nature at the end of games makes him lethal in the clutch. He is a basketball machine.

We may never in our lifetime see another NBA player score as many points in one game, or in one half (55), as Kobe scored last night. Then again, we may see Kobe score even more. One can only imagine.

CURSE OF THE NEAR-SPUR

CURSE OF THE NEAR-SPUR

How many times have we seen a major free agent consider the San Antonio Spurs, then not make the compromises they need to get on the team? Or just blow it badly as a team member?

Then their career plummets.

How many times? Let's count:

• Jason Kidd - forget the title, and Vince Carter saved that franchise from permanently losing postseason aspirations, at least as long as Kidd would be there. Face it, the Nets are a mediocre team with decent guards in the worst division. K-Mart went bankrupt, and they will do just well enough to get ousted quickly but get no decent draft pick.
  
• Derek "Loyalty" Anderson - yes, Derek, when you stooge in the playoffs, management will mention that in contract negotiations. Back to the Clippers yet? No, even they wouldn't take you back.
  
• "Warm" Karl Malone - true, I'm glad the Spurs never signed him, but it wasn't for lack of effort. I can't stand the child molester turned cougar poacher myself. He's a supercreep. But choosing the Flakers and retirement = no rings. ycagelnikcufecin !
  
• Grant Hill - Spurs had cash and Tim about to sign again, and Grant chose Orlando instead. Has he finished a season yet with the Tragic? How are their championship plans going? McGreedy left and Duncan won rings in San Antonio, where you could have come Grant? How's the ankle? Glad this guy never made it either, and he did the Pistons dirty when he left. Oh, and they also went on to win a championship and are the only team that threatens the Spurs.
  
• Jermaine O'Neal - true, the Spurs would have had to give away everyone not named Tim Duncan in a S+T to get Jermaine. Or he could have accepted less and been a 1/2 Dynasty alongside Tim. He chose cash and Ron "Punchy" Artest instead, now the Pacers are dead.

From Time to tinker is gone; trade O'Neal, rebuild (Indy Star):

Today marks exactly one month before the NBA trading deadline, or 42 days since Ron Artest was put into permanent timeout. And the Indiana Pacers, now a bland, mediocre franchise doomed to middling status in the Eastern Conference, have left themselves with only two real choices: Start the rebuilding process now, or wait until this summer?Because unless somebody has a debilitating brain cramp and opts to send Kevin Garnett here for Ron Artest and a nail clipper, the Pacers are going absolutely nowhere. Fifty wins, at best. A second-round playoff ouster, at best. What?? You think Pacers president Larry Bird and team CEO Donnie Walsh, who so thoroughly botched the Artest situation from the start, are going to make a season-saving trade sometime in these next few weeks? No. Blow it up.

Start over.

Top Posts in 2005

The results are in. Which posts were the most popular among Spurs Dynasty readers in 2005? Surprisingly, three of the the top four posts had little to do with the San Antonio Spurs. One thing they all do have in common, though, is the same author: Bramlet Abercrombie, formerly known as the Notorious CBC.

#4: Don't sweat these preseason losses: "Unlike most teams, the Spurs don't need confidence-building wins against a bunch of scrubs. We have the luxury of letting guys get lots and lots of rest in the preseason, because of our depth and the players' familiarity with each other and the system."

#3: Get well soon, Amare ...: "... so the Spurs can kick your ass."

#2: Toronto Craptors lose to Israeli team.

#1: Ali G in NBA commercials.

Le Pénétration

So, I fell asleep on the couch, while Bramlet, Dingo, and Casanova watched with baited breath as our Spurs started adjusting on the road, with an injured Manu, against the ECF Miami Heat team that took the Pistons to the ropes and frankly should have advanced to the Finals against us... maybe even beaten our boys in the Black & Silver.

(I had too many beers and too little sleep and my couch was simply too comfortable.)

4th quarter, the Spurs down by 4, but the fire is in their eyes and the rally looks imminent.

Then TiVO got to the point where it cut off, even though I always tape +30 minutes after any game just for such occasions.

However, TiVO sees the next game as the program title, so it doesn't keep those extra 30 minutes attached to the Spurs-Heat *and* also doesn't save it as the Flakers game (funny how we're routinely the JV game for Kobe, somehow ?!? Sure the NBA doesn't have a bias...).

Anyway, the poor Dynasty Crew here had to settle for reading the results on the web and a cliffhanger. If I hadn't supplied the brew, they might have stolen my tv angrily when I passed out.

Turns out Tony "Le Pénétration" Parker had a career scoring night, lighting it up for 38. At the half, Bramlet pointed out he already had 20.

Ironically, the Spurs Dynasty crew actually were assembled and witnessed, live, the 35 point previous career high in Oakland VS Baron Davis (and the then streaking Warriors who had ripped out 9 straight wins at that time).

That was last season. We have good karma, fellow Spurs fans, when the Dynastic squad assembles to watch our Spurs.

Fierce dynasty, and someone needs to give me a good reason Parker doesn't belong in the All Star game. Don't gimme any Steve Nash gets 15+ assists in some games nonsense either.

He can't whup it though.

Parker, Duncan Lead Points in the Paint

As of today, Tony Parker and Tim Duncan are 1st and 2nd in the league for points in the paint. A point guard has never led the league in points in the paint for an entire season, as far as I know.

Here is how the top 5 stack up:

	Tony Parker	Tim Duncan	Shawn Marion	Carmelo Anthony	LeBron James
HEIGHT	6' 2"	6' 11"	6' 7"	6' 8"	6' 8"
POINTS	496	478	466	458	456

Spurs' future looks bright

Four of the Spurs' young players in Europe are showing that they might be important contributors to the Spurs' success in the future:

Viktor Sanikidze, a Russian small forward who has been injured this season, has apparently made a full recovery. He hasn't had an opportunity to really prove himself yet because of this injury (I think he's still only 19), but he has shown enough to be compared to no less than Manu "The Latin Bitchslap" Ginobili. Considering that the Spurs' front office doesn't make comments like that often (and I believe it did come from one of them), I think we can expect this guy to help us.

Ian Mahinmi, the 19-year-old French forward/center drafted by the Spurs last summer, is already an All-Star in the French A League - the same league that Tony came out of. This guy is tall and long, and he has great raw athleticism that will be a nice complement to Tim and could help solve our rebounding problems. He's already a great defender, and he's made a lot of strides on offense this year, even though he apparently didn't start playing basketball until he was 14. Eerily reminiscent of a couple of other Spurs big men, also drafted about a decade apart, eh?

Granted, it will probably be a couple of years before these guys come over, and even if they succeed it may take them a while to adjust to the NBA. But we have a couple of other players in the pipeline who could help us as soon as next year:

Luis Scola, the power forward from Argentina who was the second-best player on their Olympic championship team, has been his usual dominating self this season. He may never wear a Spurs uniform, but we might be able to trade his rights for another good player, without ever taking the risk of seeing whether his game will translate well to the NBA - and some observers think it might not.

Robertas Javtokas, the Lithuanian forward/center who recovered from a horrific motorcycle injury to play again at the highest level of European basketball (and even managed to recover much of his absolutely freakish athleticism), is playing dominating basketball. See this recent post on SpursReport (you have to be a member) for an update. Even though his offensive game is somewhat limited, he's a big, monstrously strong athlete who plays hellacious defense, gobbles up rebounds, and executes pick-and-rolls brilliantly. He could definitely help us against a team like the Pistons. (Interestingly, his recent performances have led one European observer to call him "The Baltic Big Ben.")

Look how high up he gets. And it looks effortless.

We gotta wear shades.

Spurs To Not Even Bother Trying Until Playoffs

You have to admire their honesty.

SAN ANTONIO--The San Antonio Spurs announced today that they will not even put forth on effort until the playoffs start in April. The Spurs currently sit atop the Southwest Conference and can pretty much cruise into the postseason without even breaking a sweat.

“I’m not trying anymore. That’s it. I’m done,” said forward Tim Duncan. “What’s the point anyway? We can’t suck even if we try. We can sleepwalk into the playoffs. Ooooh, so Dallas is a game behind us. What’s the worst that can happen, they take over first place? Ok fine, so we’ll be the second seed then we’ll steamroll everyone until we get to the finals. Then we have the Pistons. That’ll be a good time to start trying.”

In their first 37 games, the Spurs put forth an honest effort a staggering 22 times. Exhausted and banged up, the players are ready to take the rest of the season off.

The rest of this revealing article can be read here.

The "Real" Spurs are Coming Part 2

The Spurs beat the Bucks in San Antonio last night, 95-92, and the box score brings two things to mind:

• When Michael Finley scores big, the Spurs are hard to beat. He scored 21 in just 27 minutes tonight. Parker and Ginobili played more minutes. but scored fewer points -- 18 and 16, respectively. Only Duncan had more, but he played 39 minutes to get his 27 points.
  
  The Spurs have won 15 out of 17 games when Finley has scored in double digits.
  
  
• Nazr Mohammed is getting more playing time, and more rebounds, and that's good news.
  
  Nazr had five rebounds tonight, and when he has pulled down five or more boards, the Spurs have won 15 out of 17 games.

Don't Touch the Mic, Baby Don't Come Near it

From Yahoo Sports

Parker converted 11 layups and scored 28 points in San Antonio's 93-83 win over Memphis on Monday. Parker, the NBA leader in points in the paint, shot 12-for-13 from the field and rebounded his only miss for a layup. He also hit all four of his free-throw attempts.

Parker is shooting 54.4 percent from the field and averaging a career-high 19.4 points per game. His output against the Grizzlies was his best since a 30-point effort against Dallas on Dec. 1.

Parker has 488 of his 736 points this season in the paint, a place where centers and forwards, not point guards, usually thrive.

"When he's got his mind made up that he wants to get to that paint, he gets to that paint," said Memphis guard Bobby Jackson. "I can see why he leads the league in points in the paint because he's fast, he's effective. He knows how to score and how to finish at the basket."

I forgot that on his only miss out of 17 shots (including 4 free throws, which he usually struggles with), Le Pénétration pulled down his own board and laid it in.

You can't stop the pénétration. Bobby Jackson knows it. Eva Longoria knows it. Now you know it.

Cold got to be - Funktiger.

Championship Basketball

What the Spurs play, and the talented (and unfortunately injury depleted... oh wait a minute... Damon "Minnie Mouse" Stoudamire said Avery Johnson would "never lead a team to an NBA championship" then Bill Clinton hosted the champion Spurs and mocked Stoudamire - whump!) Memphis Grizzlies do not play....

CHAMPIONSHIP BASKETBALL

There are tiers of hoops. The Heat, Grizzlies, Suns, Pacers... all play Tier 2 hoops.

The Spurs and Pistons do not.

The difference is massive, and evident in the (albeit close) back to back wins of the Spurs over Grizzlies.

The second win showed that the Spurs are, again, that Tier 1.

Tony Parker missed 1 shot out of 13, and that shot rimmed out.

And we're not to the All Star Break yet, when the Spurs historically light it up.

The "Real" Spurs are Coming

Here is an excerpt from a conversation that took place between TNT announcers Dick Stockton, John Thompson and Reggie Miller during tonight's game between the San Antonio Spurs and Memphis Grizzlies (3:17 left in the second quarter):

STOCKTON: So Nazr Mohammed on the free throw line. At the end of the year and through the playoffs, he was the starting Center for the San Antonio Spurs. Came over in the trade for a very popular Malik Rose, with the New York Knicks. Finished but didn't really have much of training camp because Mohammed had some personal problems at home and so did not really get off on the right foot, as far as being in condition to start the year. And you're going to see his playing time increase.

THOMPSON: Well, I think that's the thing that is going to be very interesting to watch after the All-Star break with this team (Spurs), you factor in the experience they have ... guys that have been injured ... guys that are going to be a lot better after the All-Star break. It will be interesting to see how they challenge those other two teams that you had on the board.

STOCKTON: And of course, the Spurs have always been a team that kind of lulled around a bit until after the All-Star break; knew when to turn the jets on, to get ready for the second season.

MILLER: Well, it's funny, you say 'turn the jets on.' They usually start to turn it on on that long Rodeo ...

STOCKTON: Right.

MILLER: ... trip that they usually have every year when the Rodeo comes to San Antonio ... that's getting ready to come up, ladies and gentlemen. So, I think that's when you're gonna see the real San Antonio Spurs really start to get it into gear.

The 2006 San Antonio Stockshow & Rodeo will be February 3 to 19, and during that road trip the Spurs will play: the Craptors, the Nets, the Pacers, Cavaliers and Sixers.

Box out!

Memo to all of the Spurs' big men except Timmy: This is called boxing out.



It's really important, especially against the team that kicked our asses just a couple of weeks ago. I guess we need to send you guys to training camp with the Leola High School Girls' Basketball Team.

Seriously, I didn't see the game, but I'm guessing the problem is that the Spurs' defensive system, which relies so much on help, is being expertly exploited by the Pistons; i.e. they're forcing our rebounders out of position with penetration and interior passing (and perhaps forcing our big men to switch out onto the perimeter), and then we're left scrambling for the rebound. Which is bad, because we can't compete with their athleticism.

Solution: Our perimeter defenders need to concentrate a lot more on staying in front of their man instead of just funneling him inside. If we're switching on pick and rolls against them, we need to stop. Stick with the hedge. And if one of our bigs moves out of position to help out on a penetrator, another player needs to rotate over to box out his man. Easier said than done.

Oh, and we need to grow some testicles.

Coach Pop "Disgusted" By Close Win

Back in December, SpursDynasty brought you an exclusive on Pop's first "This team is soft" speech of the year. It looks like he brought it out again after last night's win against the Nets, currently the hottest team in the league, having won 10 straight until last night.

From SpursReport.com

Even after ending the NBA’s longest winning streak, the San Antonio Spurs got nothing but criticism from their coach.

Tim Duncan scored 27 points, going 13-for-15 from the free throw line, and the Spurs snapped the New Jersey Nets’ 10-game winning streak with a 96-91 victory Tuesday night.

"Total lack of concentration, lack of effort, lack of cohesiveness, lack of leadership — both on the court and from me as a head coach," Gregg Popovich said in his only postgame statement. "It was a disgusting performance."

His comments may have been different had the Spurs held onto their 16-point lead with under 7 minutes to go. They had limited the league's eighth-leading scorer, Vince Carter, to 19 points until that point.

Carter then scored 15 points in a 22-13 run, and Scott Padgett's 3-pointer cut the lead to four with 2.8 seconds left. The Spurs held on by hitting 20 free throws in the last quarter, a franchise record.

Despite the win, the fact that the Nets scored 14 points in 39 seconds will stay with the Spurs for a long time, Bruce Bowen said.

"Right now there is really nothing too gratifying because of the way it ended and rightfully so," he said. "It wiped out everything we tried to accomplish tonight."

Yes, but can he play ball?

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

A celebrity by virtue of his height, Pakistan's tallest man, 7-foot-8 Naseer Soomro, draws a crowd in Shikarpur, where he hopes to buy a cow. Muslims around the world celebrate Eid-al-Adha by slaughtering sheep, goats, cows and camels to commemorate Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son on God's command. The meat is given to the poor.

NETS TO GET MET

The Nets look to take it right in the breadbasket tonight when they bring their cutesy 10-0 streak into San Antonio.

Vince Carter is scoring a lot. Awwww.... how adorable!

Jason Kidd stopped slapping Joumana around long enough to get some assists in a tough win over the Craptors (who lost to the Israelis, mind you).

But tonight they get a healthy dose of Championship Defense at the fierce hands of our mighty Spurs.

My prediction:
* Vince Carter does not score 33 points because Bruce "Lee" Bowen breaks out the K'ung F'u Grip on him and reminds him what perimeter defense does to one dimensional, shoot-first glamor divas.

* Jason Kidd gets punked by Tony Parker, reminding him what a real Spurs point guard plays like, and with Eva Longoria in the house, reminds him that it's better to have a fantastically hot Latina at your side that you don't have to slap around.

* Nenad Krstic discovers that "Tim Duncan" is English for "world champion, MVP forward-center"

And the rest of those bums get reminded that best in the Atlantic is nothing whatsoever like best in the league.

The Spurs are going to win big.

Duncan Not Interested in 2008 Olympics

I can't say I blame him. He's already had an Olympic experience and it wasn't exactly memorable.

"I am about 95 percent sure my FIBA career is over," Duncan said, using the acronym for the sport's international governing body. "Fiba sucks," he mumbled. "I'll try not to share my experiences with anyone."

Manu has likely given him endless shit for losing to his Argentine team in 2004. (The US almost lost to Andrew Bogut's Australian team, too.) And with George Bush still in the White House -- when does this guy get arrested for breaking the law, anyway? -- many of us are less proud to be Americans than we were in the not-so-distant past.

Or maybe Tim wasn't interested in a three-year commitment, let alone playing exhibition games in China and South Korea leading up to the worlds in Japan in August.

Then again, Tim is getting older, and showing that he is, in fact, mortal. He's been bothered by plantar fasciitis in his right foot since the preseason.

After the Spurs' 91-86 loss to the Suns on Saturday night, Duncan confirmed his feelings on playing for the U.S. team.

"I have no interest in that," he said.

Duncan, who has been bothered by knee and foot injuries in recent seasons, said he wouldn't be able to make the three-year commitment Colangelo is asking of players.

Duncan was selected for the U.S. team at the 2000 Olympics but had to withdraw with a knee injury.

2005 CHUMPY Award

It's time, loyal readers, for the Inaugural SpursDynasty 2005 CHUMP (of the)Y(ear) Award.

Every year, there are athletes, especially NBA players, who are, in a word, chumps.

There are many candidates for the CHUMPY Award, of course, so we're here to let you know just which overpaid, adolescent minded, primadonna clown was the worst team cancer or societal blight in 2005.

So let's go over the candidates and their qualifications, shall we, loyal reader(s)?

* Ron Artest - see post below. He demanded a trade, meaning he has now officially taken his team directly out of title contention two seasons in a row. Of course, not by what happens on court... it's the extracurricular tantrums that makes Ron such a prime non-example of sportsmanship.

* Terrell Owens - need we say more?

* Maurice Clarett. Oh Mo, mo, mo. We all knew you were a chump when Ohio State was arranging for your cars and expenses, while you cut class, fell asleep in finals, and had "an oral exam" to pass African-American studies. We know it was rough when your moronic buddy played tough guy games and got himself waxed - so naturally the Ohio State students should eat the cost of you going to his funeral since you didn't have the money. We know you had to file false police reports and commit insurance fraud since you couldn't wait to get your lifestyle on. Too bad the lawsuits against Ohio State and the NFL both resulted in a litigation beatdown.

But armed robbery? For a *c e l l p h o n e* ?!? Then making the police manhunt you?!? You can get those for $40, Mo. And don't forget since the Broncos cut you, you dropped out of college, and literally can't negotiate an arena ball contract, you'd better go with a public defender. I don't think the Ohio State students want a tuition hike to make your retainer fees once the cops nab you.

* Latrell Sprewell - for about a million reasons.

AND THE WINNER IS>>>>

SPREE! 50 Cent isn't an athlete, Artest technically ruined both seasons by not playing last spring and now the fall of the new season but is only a 2nd tier chump, Clarett committed armed robbery for a cellie technically in 2006 (Jan. 2) and is an unemployed football player, but Spree is the CHUMPY-on. Unemployed clown former basketball player... like a more antisocial and less sadly humorous Rodman.

Offered a $21,000,000 contract, Spree said it was "Insulting... I have a family to feed." Now there is no contract with the T-Wolves, much less anyone else, he is the laughingstock of the league, and no competitive team will want him.

But I wonder if you can feed a family on unemployment? A lot of Americans have to, especially those in Katrina's wake. It just goes to show you that no matter how much of a primadonna you may be, no matter how spoiled and childish, there is always someone worse than you. And you know Spree had to win the Chumpy Award, having choked a Spurs coach back in the day (as of the balloting, PJ Carlesimo was still an assistant on a world championship team).

Even if Spree becomes a Spur, and hopefully Warm Karl Malone was the last of such potential foolishness, I may eat crow but I won't like the flavor, ever. Chumpalicious.

Happy 2006. Maurice Clarett now leads the pack for Chump of the Year '06, and it's only the 2nd day of January.

Happy New Year

It's January and the San Antonio Spurs are exactly where we expected them to be -- first place in the Western Conference. The Spurs have now won three games in a row, seven out of their last 10, and are on track to win 60-plus games this year.

And had it not been for an injury to superstar Manu Ginobili, the Spurs would likely have beaten their best 20-game start in franchise history. Manu was back in the lineup just two days after the holiday -- did Spurs fans want anything else for Christmas?

The Pistons lead the Eastern Conference, which comes as a bit of a surprise to some fans. I for one felt that the Miami Heat were a better team last year, and had it not been for a poorly timed injury to Dwayne Wade in Game 5, with the Heat leading 3 games to 2, Miami would have faced San Antonio in the Finals.

At this point in the season, I think the Pistons are the team to beat. Until Saturday's loss to the Cavaliers, the Pistons were "on pace to win a record 73 regular-season games ... and dropped to 24-4 -- still one of the best starts in league history."

Who can beat the Pistons? The Cavaliers can, having won the last three times they've faced each other and four of five at home against the Pistons. The Mavericks can. (They've beaten the Spurs, too.) The Jazz can. And the Wizards can, and they're the only team to beat the Pistons in Detroit this year. (Only the Bulls have beaten the Spurs at home this year, and neither the Wizards or Bulls are serious playoff contenders.

The Pistons face the Spurs on their home court in just 10 days. It's going to be a great game.