Thursday, October 26, 2006

GMs Pick Spurs

For what its worth, the NBA has posted results of its annual preseason GM survey. Here is all you need to know.
Which team will win NBA Finals 2007? San Antonio 43% Dallas Mavericks 29% Miami Heat 14% Others receiving votes: Minnesota, Phoenix, Orlando

Which team will win the Western Conference? San Antonio Spurs 50% Dallas Mavericks 39% Other receiving votes: Phoenix, Minnesota

Which team will win the Southwest Division? Dallas Mavericks 57% San Antonio Spurs 43%

Who will win the 2006-07 MVP? LeBron James 39% Dwyane Wade 29% Dirk Nowitzki 18% Others receiving votes: Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett

If you were starting a franchise today and could sign any player in the NBA, who would it be? LeBron James 71% Dwyane Wade 11% Others receiving votes: Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Dwight Howard

Which player forces opposing coaches to make the most adjustments? Shaquille O'Neal 43% Kobe Bryant 21% LeBron James 11% Dirk Nowitzki 11% Others receiving votes: Tim Duncan, Steve Nash, Dwyane Wade

Who is the best power forward in the NBA? Tim Duncan 57% Dirk Nowitzki 25% Kevin Garnett 14% Amare Stoudemire 4%

Who is the best center in the NBA? Shaquille O'Neal 75% Tim Duncan 18% Others receiving votes: Dwight Howard, Yao Ming

Who is the best defensive player in the NBA? Ben Wallace 32% Ron Artest 29% Bruce Bowen 25% Kobe Bryant 11% Alonzo Mourning 4%

Who is the best perimeter defender in the NBA? Bruce Bowen 39% Ron Artest 25% Kobe Bryant 25% Raja Bell 11% Others receiving votes: Andrei Kirilenko, Ruben Patterson, Tayshaun Prince, Earl Watson

Who is the best interior defender in the NBA? Ben Wallace 64% Tim Duncan 18% Alonzo Mourning 7% Others receiving votes: Andrei Kirilenko, Shaquille O'Neal, Darko Milicic

Who is the best international player in the NBA? Dirk Nowitzki 89% Steve Nash 7% Manu Ginobili 4%

Who is the best international player NOT in the NBA? Theodoros Papaloukas 38% Juan Carlos Navarro 17% Luis Scola 17% Tiago Splitter 13% Others receiving votes: Marco Belinelli, Rudy Fernandez, Robertas Javtokas, Ricky Rubio

Who is the best head coach in the NBA? Pat Riley 44% Gregg Popovich 26% Phil Jackson 19% Others receiving votes: Scott Skiles, Jerry Sloan

Which head coach is the best manager/motivator of people? Pat Riley 50% Avery Johnson 23% Phil Jackson 15% Others receiving votes: Mike D'Antoni, Gregg Popovich

Which head coach makes the best in-game adjustments? Gregg Popovich 23% Pat Riley 23% Scott Skiles 15% Others receiving votes: Rick Carlisle, Mike D'Antoni, Phil Jackson, George Karl, Don Nelson, Jerry Sloan, Jeff Van Gundy

Which head coach is the best in the last two minutes of a close game? Pat Riley 31% Gregg Popovich 15% Phil Jackson 12% Others receiving votes: Rick Carlisle, Mike D'Antoni, Mike Fratello, George Karl, Don Nelson, Doc Rivers, Scott Skiles, Jerry Sloan, Jeff Van Gundy

Who is the best assistant coach in the NBA? Del Harris 23% Mark Iavaroni 19% Phil Johnson 15% Others receiving votes: P.J. Carlesimo, Larry Drew, Tim Grgurich, Terry Porter, Ron Rothstein, Eric Spoelstra, Tom Thibodeaux, Tex Winter, Randy Wittman

Which team will be the most fun to watch? Phoenix Suns 74% Dallas Mavericks 7% Golden State Warriors 7% Others receiving votes: New York Knicks, Sacramento Kings, San Antonio Spurs

Which team has the best home-court advantage? Sacramento Kings 37% Detroit Pistons 26% Dallas Mavericks 11% Others receiving votes: Chicago Bulls, Miami Heat, New Orleans/ Oklahoma City Hornets, New York Knicks, San Antonio Spurs, Utah Jazz

Which player is the fastest with the ball? Allen Iverson 22% Tony Parker 15% Leandro Barbosa 11% T.J. Ford 11% Steve Nash 11% Chris Paul 11% Others receiving votes: Gilbert Arenas, Raymond Felton, Jason Kidd

Which player is best at moving without the ball? Richard Hamilton 63% Peja Stojakovic 22% Others receiving votes: Ray Allen, Kobe Bryant, Manu Ginobili, Shawn Marion

Which player is the best offensive rebounder? Ben Wallace 33% Jeff Foster 15% Dwight Howard 15% Others receiving votes: Elton Brand, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Shawn Marion, Zaza Pachulia, Josh Smith, Anderson Varejao

Who is the best finisher? LeBron James 30% Dwyane Wade 30% Kobe Bryant 15% Others receiving votes: Gilbert Arenas, Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, Stephon Marbury, Shawn Marion, Amare Stoudemire

Which player does the most with least? Steve Nash 15% Ben Wallace 15% Bruce Bowen 8% Brad Miller 8% Andres Nocioni 8% Others receiving votes: Mike Bibby, Chauncey Billups, Earl Boykins, Brian Cardinal, Sam Cassell, Adrian Griffin, Udonis Haslem, Kirk Hinrich, Eduardo Najera, Jameer Nelson, Bo Outlaw, Tayshaun Prince, Darius Songalia

Which player is the best leader? Steve Nash 41% Shaquille O'Neal 19% Jason Kidd 15% Others receiving votes: Chauncey Billups, Sam Cassell, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

"Remember Who We Are".... Because Pop Sure Doesn't

I'll have to take these sentiments by Bramlet in order so I don't lose my train of thought…

First and foremost, I have to declare that I am 99.9% certain that at no time this season or any subsequent seasons will you ever catch me pining for 'Sho or T-Rex. They both had their moments of… well greatness isn't the word certainly, but let's just say moments of adequateness. In the end they were both overpaid and underutilized, so they became expendable.

Rasho in particular I have a soft spot for. I recognized his contributions on the defensive more than most Spurs fans I feel, but he just didn't bring the intensity on that end of the floor every night. Being inconsistent on the offense I could deal with, because whatever Nesterovic gives you there is icing, but being soft, intimidated, and uninterested in defense I cannot forgive. Sure, Rasho made a point of rotating on D, but there is a difference between putting yourself in position to get in somebody's way and actually making a play. There is a difference between blocking a guy's shot and just making it more difficult. There is a difference between boxing out a guy and actually grabbing the board. Too often Rasho took the easy way out, and I think Pop had enough. Sure the guy wasn't a bad teammate, but he had zero fire, period. To be a good NBA player, you have to be a little selfish. Otherwise you reach the point of diminishing returns out on the floor.

It will be a very rare occurrence indeed when I defend Stephen A, but I know exactly why he picks on Rasho. Bullies only pick on people who won't fight back. It doesn't bother Smith that Rasho sucks. Lots of NBA players suck. It bothers him that he shows no emotion out there while sucking. Nesterovic is ten times the player that somebody like Jake Voskuhl is, but you won't catch Smith insulting Voskuhl, because when he does see the floor, he waves his arms up and down and yells and looks like he gives a shit.

Nazr on the other hand I have no ambivalence toward whatsoever. He was a complete bum as far as I'm concerned and I won't miss him a bit. For the life of me I just can't understand how by all accounts a relatively intelligent guy just could not grasp the concept of defensive rotations. I mean, this isn't football. He doesn't have to memorize 500 plays. He has to know like maybe 20 sets on offense and 10 on defense. It's not rocket science. It's even less complicated when you're a center. Your job is to protect the basket at all costs. Except for a couple of nice sequences here and there in the Finals vs. the Pistons, I just don’t think Mohammed understood that good defense was his primary responsibility here, not scoring.

And as far as the offensive end of the floor went, I mean the guy had the worst hands I've ever seen. It got to the point where Tony and Manu absolutely hated to be on the floor with him. You could tell in their body language. And the more mistakes he made, the more nervous he became. He had that one stretch late in the season where it looked like he began to figure it out, and he had that one 30 point game against the Suns, but almost immediately afterward he fell into this abyss he could never pull himself out of. Plus he had this maddening habit of making himself shorter than he is underneath the basket. He'd keep doing these pump fakes that would fool nobody, and he'd bend his knees so low that guys who couldn't hope to block his dunks if he went straight up with them managed to stuff him by getting hands on the ball on the way up.

Basically, the guy was less of an athlete than he appeared. Oddly, I think the straw that broke the camel's back for him with this organization was that 3 pointer he hit during the final moments of the Game 1 rout against the Kings. That unsportsmanlike behavior is not Spurs basketball and it was the end of the road between him and Pop, especially for a guy who makes no contribution on the defensive end.

The criticism of Derek Anderson I think is unwarranted. Sure, in an indirect way his leaving paved the way for Manu to join the Spurs, so obviously that's a great thing, but the cruel hand of fate played a big part our perceptions of him. Few people remember that he had that one really big year for us as the second dog to Tim, and really he was the first exciting athlete we had at the two-guard since a young Willie Anderson. But then Juwan Howard of the Mavericks injured him during the playoffs and he was useless against Kobe and the Lakers. The injury proved to be so serious for Anderson that he never was able to regain his explosiveness. Pop traded him straight up for Steve Kerr, for crying out loud. For all I know the guy was a major turd behind the scenes, but I will reserve any ill feelings toward him because of the injury.

Oberto I think can be of some help to us in setting screens for Tony and Manu and on the offensive boards, but I fail to see how he'll be of any help at all on defense. He's too short and unathletic to block shots, and too small and slow to guard anybody. Plus, he's the guy the refs are looking for as the designated Spur to call fouls on. He'll never be able to see more than 18 minutes on the floor with us, and I see him being used less and less as the year goes on. I think the development of Jackie Butler, especially defensively, will end up playing a major role this year in regards to us winning the whole kit and caboodle.

My main criticism with Pop and small ball is this: It bothers me that we're the team who always changes our lineups and our styles of play to suit the needs of the team we're playing. We play one way vs. the Suns and Mavs, another way vs. the Pistons, etc. It is one thing to be versatile, quite another to be compliant. Why can't we be the team who dictates to other teams? Why can't we be the team that says, "THIS is who we are, you gotta adjust to us."

What people failed to notice about the Mavericks was that except for maybe 10 minutes, they play with a traditional line up. The majority of the time Dallas had either Diop or Dampier on the floor. Those are centers folks. If they can play with 'em, than we should have been able to as well.

I think the faulty logic here was that somebody on the roster was equipped to guard Nowtizki. There isn't a person alive who can guard Dirk one-on-one without eventually being whistled for six fouls. Yeah 'Sho or T-Rex can't guard him. Well Timmy, Bruce, Fin or whoever else can't either. The smart (and to me obvious) move would've been to let Dirk get his and shut everyone else down. Why doesn't anyone understand that the Mavs couldn't shoot a lick? Outside of Dirk, nobody on that team had a consistent 20 foot jumper. Nobody. Howard and Terry and Stack's games were all predicated on driving to the cup where we had nobody in the way because Tim was drawn out on the perimeter. If we just stuck both Tim and Rasho in the key illegal defense rules be damned (they'd have called two or three of them, but not all game), we'd have taken the Mavericks' strengths away from them and turned them into an outside shooting team that never went to the line. I don't care if Dirk got 50, the rest of the guys wouldn't have gotten more than 40 combined.

As for the offensive end of the floor, I completely disagree that it made us a better team with no center. Against most teams it would have, but not Dallas. Why? Dirk, that's why. You put Rasho or Nazr on the floor, and who does he guard? He can't guard Tim, he'd get killed. And even the centers if they ever got position down low would abuse him pretty regularly. No, the whole series Dirk was allowed to camp out on Bruce, never breaking a sweat, and then jumping into the lane to get rebounds because the only guy we had at either end of the floor to grab them was Tim. When Diop or Dampier blocked out Tim, Dirk got all the free rebounds. This happened constantly. Maybe the weak rebounding of our centers wouldn't have made a difference in that aspect, but at least they would have forced Dirk to have to guard somebody.

And this brings me to my other point. The playoffs last year exposed Bruce Bowen. His time has come and gone. Defense has been pretty much outlawed in the NBA now and he's not nearly as effective without a stud shotblocker behind him anyway. One of the main reasons he has such a sterling reputation defensively is that he is afforded the luxury of just playing guys to shoot. It’s not his responsibility if guys drive past him because we’ve always had bigs back there to clean up his mess. Other perimeter defenders, like Ron Artest for example, actually have to shut down guys on their own for the most part and can’t cheat one way or the other. This is why I’ve always thought it was foolish for Bruce to even be considered for the Defensive Player of the Year award. The notion strikes me as patently ridiculous as Derek Jeter getting a Gold Glove, considering that he has the range of a toaster oven at shortstop. Meanwhile on offense Bruce is a liability, and in small ball lineup there is no place for him on the floor. I think a Tim-Rasho-Finley-Manu-Parker lineup would've been the way to go, with Nazr the 6th man, Barry the 7th, Horry the 8th, and Bruce in there for maybe a few minutes here and there in certain defensive situations. Alas.

I just don’t understand why Pop tried to outscore the Mavs when our whole identity for the past decade has been as a defensive club. I think by trying so hard to match up with Dirk when he was clearly unmatchupable (not a word, I realize) he played right into the Dallas’ hands. He basically gambled that Tim, Manu, Tony, and Fin would all go insane on the offensive end of the floor, but he put the team’s margin of error to next to nothing. For a coach whose constant mantra has always been "Remember who we are" it seemed pretty disingenuous of him to demand lockdown defense when the group of players he was playing was clearly better at making baskets than preventing them.

Also I don’t buy the argument that playing without a center spaces the floor for Tim at all. First of all, his FT shooting is still too shaky to depend on continually, so you don’t necessarily want him in a situation where the Mavs will willingly send him to the line all day. Secondly, if Nazr or especially Rasho are on the floor, we could have had somebody to set screens at the top of the key for Tony and Manu besides Tim, so that once they got by their man Duncan would have been an option to kick it too near the basket when his guy rotated over to cut off the easy lay up. And if somebody else rotates over, then we get open baseline jumpshots or 3s all night. As long as you don’t play Bruce, you’ll still be in a situation where there are four scorers on the floor at all times, even with a center out there.

Strategically I think Pop’s biggest error in judgment was the belief that the difference between our best offensive and best defensive line up was just one guy: Finley instead of Rasho. I contend that it’s actually two guys: Finley and Barry/Horry for Rasho and Bruce. However the best compromise would have been, as I’ve said, Finley for Bruce.

Now as for that Britney quote, let me make my feelings on the matter crystal clear. When she looked like the picture on her first album, she could’ve told me anything and I’d have agreed with her. Pro-life, war in Iraq is a great idea, no to gay marriage, yes to capital punishment, whatever. The 17 year old Brit was a goddess and the last jailbait celebrity whose countdown to 18 genuinely excited me (unlike the Olsen twins who I find gross). The current version has put on quite a few and shat out a couple of kids, so I don’t care what she has to say.

However, I have a new jailbait goddess in my life. I introduce you all to one Hayden Panettiere.
She stars on this new NBC show “Heroes” which is kind of like an X-Men ripoff. Her character I guess would be the Wolverine of the group in that her power is she’s indestructible. (Bruce Willis’ character in M. Night Shalayman’s “Unbreakable” was also the same deal). Anyway I really like the show, and since it’s followed by the superb “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” Monday night 9-11 pm has quickly become my favorite two hour block of television. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even really care about the football game on Mondays anymore, (especially with that HIDEOUS ESPN broadcast team, production values, etc.) I just look forward to Mondays for these two shows.

And for the record, Hayden’s magic number is 301 days and dropping.

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Bramlet wipes the shameful '05-'06 slate clean.

Before we get the glorious new NBA season underway - a season in which, ***spoiler alert***, the Spurs will once again reclaim the NBA crown after a failed title defense, I have a couple of things to get off my chest and out of my craw.

The first and more minor issue is the Nazr- and Rasho-bashing that so many Spurs fans engaged in all summer. Are they flawed players who probably aren't worth what the Spurs would have had to pay to keep them, given the other options the Spurs have? Yes. Are they completely worthless pieces of shit whom we should be glad to be rid of? Hell, no. By all accounts, they are both nice guys who made a real commitment to the Spurs organization and helped us all enjoy a championship. Pardon my bleeding-heart sentimentality, but I will miss seeing them in Spurs uniforms, even if I won't miss Nazr's "Larry, Moe, and Curly" hands and Rasho's one free throw attempt for every thousand minutes of PT. Let's show these guys a little respect. They're no Derek Anderson, after all - although in retrospect, hey, we should actually thank that guy for doing us such a huge favor and getting the hell out. So here's to you, Nazr, Rasho...and Derek!

Live long and prosper, men. Just not against the Spurs.

In particular, because he's such an easy target for the haters out there, I'd like to point out the good qualities that Rasho demonstrated as a Spur, few of which were ever appreciated by his critics:
1. Although he was not a statistically impressive rebounder, he consistently did a good job of blocking out his own man, and he tapped a lot of rebounds out to teammates.
2. He was a very good position defender and shot blocker, he moved his feet better on defense than he was given credit for, and he was usually a good team defender.
3. He generally stepped up against the better centers in the league, like Yao and Snaq. We have a nice variety of big men this season who will provide different defensive looks and a lot of fouls, but we will probably miss what Rasho did for us against those guys.
4. He set good picks, and in particular he helped TP get a lot of easy layups by screening out help defenders.
5. He was a good passer, even if he didn't have a lot of opportunities to show it.
6. He was selfless, he was a great teammate, and he worked hard.

Competent execution, GOOD! Any semblance of human emotion, BAD! RAARRGGHH!!!

If those things aren't enough to win him some respect from Spurs fans...well, what can I say, except to call you all a bunch of Stephen A. Smiths.

Annoying Man has nothing on this guy.

Fortunately, we have another guy on the roster who will be able to give us most of what Rasho gave us, and he's better in a number of respects: Fabricio "Oh Boy!" Oberto. I don't know whether he'll be in the starting lineup, but we'll see more of him this season, and he'll show Spurs fans some good shit. I really like this guy - more on that in an upcoming post.

There's another thing that's been stuck in my craw since May. Although, like Stephen Colbert, I was born with an unusually narrow craw, I think every Spurs fan should be a little upset at some of the more venomous Pop-bashing that went on after the Spurs' elimination by the Mavericks. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying I'm like Britney Spears, unable to accept to any criticism of the man in charge. (By the way, I wonder how she feels about that statement these days? Thanks for the great political leadership, Brit.)

"Honestly, I think we should just trust the Popovich in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that, you know?"

...But let's look at things objectively and get a few facts straight about Pop's decision to play a smaller lineup against the Mavericks:
1. With Nazr or Rasho on the floor, the matchup with Dirk would almost certainly have been even more unfavorable than it was, as either one of them or Timmy would have had to guard him. This is an obvious point that's been made again and again.
2. The Twin Towers defensive scheme was somewhat negated by the Mavericks' ability to pull our big men away from the basket. It's difficult to funnel penetration to a shotblocker who has to guard someone on the perimeter.
3. Neither Nazr nor Rasho had been playing consistently well anyway. While Nazr would have helped our rebounding some, his poor defensive rotations would have hurt us. At least the guys Pop put on the floor were competent defenders within the Spurs' system.
4. Pop's critics bitch about the poor rebounding of the small lineup, but our rebounding sucked last year even with our big lineup. Does anyone remember the ridiculous hurting the Pistons put on us twice last season on the glass? The bitter memory of vomit in my mouth still lingers. My gorge rises at it. Anyway, with the Mavericks' jump shooting, effective rebounding wasn't necessarily a matter of big men getting position inside; it was just as much a matter of having guys with scrappiness, speed, and athleticism on the floor to track down long rebounds.
5. Playing the smaller lineup gave us a number of advantages on the offensive end: a more dangerous fast break, more movement and better passing in the half-court offense, more outside shooting threats, more room for Tony and Manu to drive and make use of their talents in general, and more room for Tim to go to work around the basket - his big scoring numbers in the series weren't just a coincidence. Nazr and Rasho couldn't give us enough on the defensive end to offset the limitations their presence would have imposed on the Spurs' offense.
6. Giving Finley and Barry more PT enabled the Spurs to have more talent and a higher overall basketball IQ on the floor, period.
7. Any comparison with the Heat's strategy is at least partly fallacious because Miami's frontcourt was better equipped to match up against the Mavericks (or against most teams, for that matter) than ours was.
8. Pop made the same decision to go small against the Suns the year before, and everyone praised him to the skies for his newfound flexibility and strategic genius. It worked against them beautifully, and it came within a play or two of working against the Mavericks.
9. As many league observers have noted, the changes in NBA rules and officiating give faster, more athletic teams an advantage that they haven't had in the past. This is the direction the Spurs have been heading in for years anyway, and they will probably go even more in this direction as Tim gets older and slower and they play him at "center" (alongside a faster, more athletic big man) for longer periods. (I do expect him to be faster this season than we've seen him in a few years, however. TD's still in his prime, and he's apparently healthier and in better shape now than he has been in a few years.) In other words, Pop's decision to go with a smaller lineup was part of a more general shift in the Spurs' philosophy, not just a short-term strategy against the Mavericks.
10. Pop evidently didn't second-guess his decision after the end of the season, as both Nazr and Rasho are gone. It's one thing to say that a team should play a big lineup, but the team has to have the right personnel to do it.

In sum, it's easy to carp and bitch and insist that things would have been different if Pop had employed a more traditional Spurs strategy, but his critics must at least recognize that he had a number of good reasons for doing what he did. Even I can see that, and Pop, as the saying goes, has forgotten far more about basketball than I will ever know.

This will teach you to question...The Decider!

Ahhh...I feel a lot better now that I've gotten that out of my system. It's time to focus on Our Glorious Leader's new campaign to restore the rule of the Spurs proletariat. I'm off to cleanse my palate once and for all with some nice red wine. Who gives a shit if it's 9 o'clock on Monday morning? It's not as though I have a real job anyway.

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Sunday, October 22, 2006

And their uniforms are stupid too...

John Hollinger of ESPN.com says that on a per 40 minutes basis, that Jackie Butler is the 6th best center in the NBA and Beno Udrih is the 23rd best point guard.

Frankly, this kind of thing has me upset already and the season hasn’t started yet. Whenever the bench struggles behind the play of Findog, Roho, Bonner, Elson and Bones we’re going to have stupid ammunition to fire at Pop like, “C’mon dude, don’t you know your 11th and 12th men are good enough to be NBA starters?”

Conversely, when Beno and Butler do play and inevitably struggle, we’ll be screaming, “Why the hell are you playing these bums? You gonna let John freakin’ Hollinger set your rotation you dope? Why not have him call the plays too you zit-faced wino?

All this anger means I think I’m ready for the season to start.

And since our first game will be at Dallas, I made a top ten list to cheer y’all up.


Top Ten Reasons Mark Cuban Is Just Like Adolf Hitler

10. Not a German, but strangely drawn to Germans.

9. Blames all of his problems on some Jewish guy.

8. Initially a real positive influence on their organizations, but shortly
after, not so much.

7. Lots of trash-talking, little actual participating.

6. Both married blondes they weren’t attracted to. Not even remotely.

5. One was a narcissistic fascist; the other has a narcissistic fascist blog.

4. If either invites you to take a shower, run the f@#k away.

3. Neo-Mavs fans claim the Dallas’ embarrassing choke job in the
Finals "never happened.”

2. Awful haircut.

1. You kick their ass, you get a parade.

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Is Gilbert Arenas for Real?

Ok, so this has nothing to do with our San Antonio Spurs, but I had to share this, um, interesting news.
Take a deep breath, and get ready for the latest in Gilbertology: Washington Wizards point guard Gilbert Arenas is thinning the air in his house.

“I had my house converted to the Colorado altitude, so I am always above sea level,” Arenas said Monday at the Wizards annual pre-training camp media day.

“You know, that’s kind of weird,” Arenas said.

He’ll get plenty of nods with that statement, but, yep, he’s really doing it. Instead of going to the mountains to train — as some endurance athletes do — Arenas has hired a company to simulate those conditions in a home environment.

“I had to put a tent in one room, and then they are going to come during training camp and fix the whole house,” Arenas said. “Then I have a have a portable tent I’m taking on the road.”

Arenas’ hopes the living arrangement will give him more energy in the fourth quarter of NBA games, when everyone else is getting tired from breathing the same old heavy air.

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Saturday, October 14, 2006

I may have crossed the line here ...

First of all, I never promised to be insightful or intelligent. That’s a bald faced lie and I demand that you apologize. In the words of T.O., “DON’T YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT.”

Secondly, I’ve got some big news, for me anyway. I’m going to be in this month’s DIME Magazine, the one with T-Mac on the cover. They came up with the idea of having NBA bloggers do their previews for them and asked me to do one for the Spurs. Mainly I think it was a genius ploy for them to avoid working and still keep all the money. Or maybe it’s a plot to get subscribers to the magazine. Like, “If you subscribe for a year, we’ll let you write a paragraph.”

Anyway, here I am ...



See? Don’t make fun of it either. It’s hard to sound intelligent in only a 100 words. I can’t even say “hello” in a 100 words.

I was all excited about being in it, but then I realized I may have gotten “Dime” mixed up with “Slam.” Which is the big one, can someone tell me? I haven’t read much of either I’m afraid because I don’t need help on design ideas for my tats or advice on managing my posse.

Also, isn’t it odd that somebody like, oh, I don’t know, Steve Nash for example, is never on the cover of a basketball magazine named Dime? I mean, instead of putting Kobe or Carmelo on the cover of a mag named after passing the basketball, shouldn’t it be the guy who leads the league in assists ever year? Am I crazy?

Isn’t what they’re doing now like putting George Bush on the cover of “Really Well Thought Out Ideas” Magazine?

And don’t you dare tell me that such a magazine doesn’t exist. They have magazines for everything. If you can have “Cat Fancy” and “US Weekly” and “Juggs Over 50 ”
Why can’t they have “Well Thought Out Ideas: The Magazine?”
Hell, they have a rag out there called “The Christian Science Monitor.” Its own title is an oxymoron.

I would just start publishing this magazine on my own, but imagine if it failed and I went bankrupt. Would I have to put myself on the cover with a big circle and slash through it?

Finally, since the season is coming up, I thought it’d be a perfect time for my most homoerotic Manu blog ever. I decided that he needs his own theme song, so I went all Weird Al Yankovic and tweaked the lyrics to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ “Gold Lion.”

Why Gold Lion? It’s got a great beat, completely meaningless lyrics, and a cheesy video. In short, it’s the perfect pop song to get you pumped up to play ball. I’ve listened to it roughly 3,154,954 times in the last three months.

Here are the original lyrics ...

And here’s the video. In case you’ve never seen the YYYs before, here’s a warning, Karen O sounds a thousand times hotter than she actually is. Actually, she’s a Seinfeldian “Shapeshifter.” In the right light, she’s passably sexy, but the majority of the time, it’s a “Hell F@#king No” situation. As if I’m one to talk. You’ll note that the drummer, without his glasses, also looks a bit like Manu:

It’s about time somebody gets to work making a Gino highlight video set to this song on Youtube. So far the only ones I’ve seen have been synched to music that’s sad ...

Or completely unlistenable ...

So far the best of the bunch was the one set to Rocky IV ...

So please, somebody get to work on “Gold Lion”

Anyway, here’s my version, called “G Nobli." You’ll note the gratuitous shots at Tony and Timmy.
“G-Nobli”

Gi- nobli’s gonna get the ball and save us
Gi- nobli’s gonna get the ball and save us
To- ny’s so out of control
To- ny’s so out of control

Now, watch him with the ball,
watch him with the ball,
Sick- est you’ve ev- er seen
Inside, outside,
He must have hit a dozen each

It was the fouls he drew, the steals,
The dimes just crushing you,
Just went around you two

Watch him with the ball,
He knows just what to...
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ohh ohh
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ohh ohh

Gi- nobli’s gonna get the ball and save us
Gi- nobli’s gonna get the ball and save us
To- ny’s so out of control
To- ny’s so out of control

Outside, Inside,
Hit- ting big shots to-save our hides,
Tim’s at the line close your eyes,
He’ll catch on fire, change mo- mentum when-all is-dire
That desire to win just won’t be de- nied
Watch him with the ball,
He knows just what to...
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ohh ohh
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ohh ohh

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ohh ohh
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ohh ohh
And why yes, I did time send a time-stamped e-mail of that to myself so it can’t be plagerized, thanks for asking.

See y’all later

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Monday, October 02, 2006

"Spurs look toward training camp"

Elizabeth White writes for the Associated Press:
Spurs guard Tony Parker said Friday the finger he broke last month while preparing for the world championships is "100 percent."

"I'm fully healed, 100 percent, the bone is back to normal," Parker said. "The doctors told me I can go as hard as we can and practice normally."

"Everybody's got to go through Dallas until somebody beats them," Spurs general manager R.C. Buford said.

Parker said the loss to Dallas is a motivator.

"So now we just have to get back to what we do," Parker said. "It's different when you're not the defending champs."

The team made several roster changes this summer, including trading center Rasho Nesterovic and cash to Toronto for forwards Matt Bonner and Eric Williams and a second-round pick in 2009 and signing two centers -- 7-footer Francisco Elson and 6-foot-10 Jackie Butler -- after their top two centers departed. Nazr Mohammed signed with Detroit as a free agent.

"We've been working out with the guys and so far so good, but it's nothing until you get in a game situation and are able to see what they're going to do in a game situation," said forward Tim Duncan. "I like who we've added."

Duncan, who has also had his share of health problems, being hobbled by plantar fasciitis, also said he's "100 percent."

"I have no pain whatsoever," he said of his foot on Friday.

Beyond training camp next week and even the Mavs in early November, the Spurs have their eye on the same thing past champions always do: the next big win.

"I don't believe that the fact of not having won it last year is going to make people forget about us," guard Manu Ginobili said. "Everybody is going to be still thinking about the Spurs as being one of the contenders."

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