Spurs On A Roll

The Spurs have been on a roll lately, of sorts. They've fallen from first to sixth in the West, from a championship team firing on all cylinders to an injury-riddled veteran squad playing .500 ball. After starting the season 17-3, they're just 11-13 since.

One can only hope that their loss to the Sonics last night is the bottom of the Spurs decline, as bad as things will get this season. The Spurs ended Seattle's team-record 14-game losing streak and lost to one of the worst teams in the league. The loss also kept the Spurs from making a near-complete sweep of the league's worst teams, the only teams they've been able to beat lately.

Yes, things are even worse than they appear. On paper, the Spurs are 8-8 in the last month. But take a closer look and you'll see that six of those eight wins came against the worst teams in the league: Minnesota, Miami, Memphis, Los Angeles Clippers, New York and Philadelphia.

I will, however, end this post with some positive news. Pop has decided to sit Tony Parker.

"He was told he was going to get better, but he's gotten worse," Popovich said. "I don't know how long it's going to be, but he's going to sit.

"He doesn't like it, but this is the way it's going to be."

"You have to have health to win it," Popovich said of the NBA title, which he has won four times in 11 seasons leading San Antonio. "If you don't have all your horses come playoff time, you'll be planning your vacation (early)."

This puts the trade for Damon Stoudamire into perspective. Pop needs someone to hold the fort while his stars get healthy, and while Stoudamire may be a less than ideal choice, hopefully he'll do.

Doomy and Gloomy as I Head East

Hello once again, my pretties. I come to you from my humble home where I will lay on my humble bed for the last time this evening until January 23rd or so. I am off to the Big Apple for a week's vacation where the itinerary has me attending my sister's graduation from the CIA, (That would be the Culinary Institute of America, not the assassin academy. Then again, with her cooking...) spending the weekend gambling with greasy Italians in Atlantic City, (I've never been) and then sightseeing in Manhattan for a couple days before returning home. We'll eat at insanely priced restaurants, take cabs driven by men with eight consecutive consonants in their surnames, and freeze our collective tuchuses off. I don't know how many of the next four Spurs games I'll be able to watch live, but I'm Tivo-ing them all and will get to them at some point. But yeah, don't expect much contact from Stampler for a while.

Sadly, the truth is that this doesn't even depress me, not being able to write. The Spurs are slogging their way through January in a fog, a daze, a slumber, whatever random noun you'd prefer. This is a team that couldn't be less interested in playing basketball right now. You see it out there in their collective body language every night. I'd like to say it's embarrassing, but that's not even the right word for it. More like, it's realistic.

I think with basketball and hockey, where each conference has so many playoff spots, and a handful of teams in each conference know they're going to the playoffs before the season even starts, the regular seasons are treated almost like a chore by the veteran players, not much different than an extended training camp. I mean, the players and coaches all humor themselves and humor the fans by pretending that any of it matters, but deep inside we all know that it doesn't. They could play their tails off every night and win 65 or they could act like 15 Robert Horry's, throw their uniforms out there and win 45. What we inevitably get is something in the middle. The main goal for the players is to stay relatively healthy, cash the paychecks, get plenty of groupie sex on road trips, (I don't care if they look like model husbands, no Spur having a mistress or ten on the side would surprise me, and that includes everybody - frankly it would explain why sometimes they don't have their legs on game night) and to finish the regular season as something resembling a cohesive team.

Right now it looks like the guys are just plain sick of each other, the way families get sick of each other when everyone goes on vacation for a week and you're forced to spend all of your time together, often in confined spaces. Consider the service time as Spurs for this roster: The Big Four (add Bruce) have been together for six years now. That's an eternity for four teammates in the NBA, especially when you add all the playoff games into the mix. Horry came long one year later. Brent, a year after him. That's six guys - half of what will be the playoff roster, barring trades - who've known each other for four years. Fab and Fin came along in '06. That's eight guys, three years. Bonner, Vaughn and Elson last year. An unfathomable eleven guys returning to defend the title. I'm not sure the '05 Red Sox had that many. I think the fellas are tired of hearing the same speeches from Pop, doing the same drills in practice, hearing (and telling) the same old stories on the road. Even the new guy has to be ingrained by now, right? I'm certain by now that every last man on the team knows all about the life and times of Ime Udoka.

Maybe what we're witnessing here goes beyond mere complacency and boredom and is starting to enter into the realm of bitterness and animosity. God, I hope not - these are the Spurs after all, the most professional team in all the land - but you see the signs. Guys seem to be annoyed more and more by their teammates' weaknesses yet not at all uplifted or inspired by their strengths. You can only witness, as a member of the big three, so many Tim Duncan bankshots, Tony Parker lay-ups and Manu Ginobili three pointers as a teammate before you start getting ticked off by how many times Tim goes up soft and gets stuffed, how many times Tony tumbles into three people on the break instead of giving it up and how many times Manu seems content to merrily float along for three quarters before going into "hero" mode.

I'm not trying to start shit, believe me. But am I crazy or was the 1st half of that Piston game the most disjointed performance by the big three we've seen since 2005? It's not that Tony and Manu played poorly. We've seen them play plenty of stinkers, and Tim too, of course. No, the problem was much more severe than that. Here, and I don't know if I've ever seen this before, all three guys played selfishly - AT THE SAME TIME. Not only where they weren't looking for each other, they were reluctant to pass the ball to anyone period. It was gruesome to watch and not representative at all of the Spurs basketball we've come to appreciate and expect. The highlight of the game was Charles Barkley telling America that Rasheed Wallace could be the best player in the NBA if "he had the killer in-stink."

That's what the world needs, an angrier, more violent 'Sheed.

Anyway, the big three certainly seemed at odds with each other. Who knows what the problem is?Maybe it's the All-Star fever in Tony's case. Maybe Manu's overcompensating for missing games with his finger injury and pressing to play at the level he was at for the first 20 games, which was, realistically, an almost impossible pace for him to keep up. Tim can't seem to string too many solid games together and the guards never know what they're going to get from him in terms of effort each night. It's all very much a struggle and the offense that looked so seamless and unstoppable early on is now an eyesore.

Individually, they're all struggling in different ways. Tim has no lift and some days he's more aggressive with his post moves than others. Also his defensive focus comes and goes. But he was very good the second half vs. Detroit and almost singlehandedly kept the team from getting embarrassed badly by some humiliating score of 90-65 or something. The next couple games after that he was back in the teens in scoring and had only nine combined free throw attempts. Through it all, he's the one I'm the least concerned with. He's earned the most trust, the most leeway, you know he'll be there when it counts, and by now he's mastered the art of incrementally building up his game and his focus so it'll be at its peak in April. Slowly yet surely his offensive numbers are inching up to where they should be. He's breaking out different post moves here and there and cutting down on the turnovers. The final piece for him, as it was last year, is becoming dominant in the defensive end. Right now that's what's missing.

Tony I'm more worried about. He was sensational in November, averaging 20.6 points, 7.3 assists, shooting 52.5% and giving it up only twice a game. These past two months though he's been shooting under 50% and the assists are around 6.0 and the turnovers are over three. He was absolutely horrid against the Pistons, decent vs. the T-Pups and below average vs. Philly. Teams are determined to keep him out of the lane and are packing it in on him more than ever and Parker's jumper seems to have largely deserted him. Unfortunately, he's still forcing it to the rim too much and it's led to some gruesome turnovers and frustrated teammates. I don't know why he doesn't use his teardrop floater more, it's always been a reliable weapon when he can't quite get all the way to the basket. I don't think Parker is a 100% healthy but also he isn't playing nearly as smartly as he was earlier in the year. I don't know what it is, maybe he's putting too much pressure on himself to be a star or what but right now his game and sense of timing -when to pass it, when to take it himself- is all off. Even Pop seems to know something is up with him because Vaughn is getting a ton of minutes of late, although most of that is on merit as Jacque has been quite solid these past few games. Parker will in all likelihood shake himself out of the funk he's in, but he needs a game where he gets a few easy baskets to get back in a good rhythm. Maybe the Cavs, who he whipped up on en route to the Finals MVP trophy will be the impetus to get him going.

Manu meanwhile doesn't look quite himself either. His turnovers are way up, he's yelling at teammates (both Elson and Bonner have been scolded by him these past couple games) and he doesn't seem to be having much fun on the court at all. He hasn't made a lay-up his last two games and he's really not aggressive going to the rim at all of late. The explosion that was so evident early in the season isn't there now and he always looks like he's restraining himself, not going all out. I don't know how much the bandage is bothering him or if something else is wrong but he just seems agitated out there on the court playing with crappy teammates against crappy teams. More than anyone else he seems truly bothered by the rut the team is on yet he doesn't seem to know how they can get out of it. I think he just wants the All-Star break and the trade deadline to come and go so he and everyone else on the team know who they're going to war with and what the roles are. But honestly, he might snap one of these days if Pop keeps running Elson or Horry out there to play with him.

In short, I never thought the team would miss Brent Barry so much. It's not just the three point shooting, though God knows we could be better there. He spaces the floor for everyone else, he's got a great offensive IQ, and he helps everyone else get a couple easier baskets. Both the team on the floor and the bench seem looser when he's playing. You can't be the same cut-up when you're in a suit during the game. The guys don't look at you the same way and Barry is probably not as chipper missing all these games. They need him back in the worst way to regain some of their offensive flexibility. I just hope Pop the defensive genius sees it too and doesn't put Brent on some leash in favor of Udoka. Not that I hold a grudge against Ime, mind you. Far from it. In fact, I'm starting to come around on him a little. But as I've stated before, I think any minutes he gets, they should come at Bruce's expense, not one of the offensive players. I get mighty ornery when Bowen and Udoka are sharing the court.

In fact, as far as combinations that piss me off, from least to most the order would be:

4) Fab-O and Frankie van Hoojdunk.
3) JV and The Wee Rapping Frenchman.
2) Ime and Mr. Potatohead.
1) RoHo and anybody.

As for Pop, he's just sailing along. Whatever dark thoughts he has about his team, he's keeping them to himself. He and Robert had a little "chat" on the sidelines during the Minnesota game after Pop yanked the four guys on the court with Manu and replaced them with four other guys (to no avail really). For the time being Oberto seems to be back on Pop's good graces, but you never know who Big Man #3, 4, and 5 are. Whoever's the fifth, that guy won't play in the playoffs except garbage time. Whoever's the fourth will probably lose out as well in favor of tinyball lineups featuring Fin, Brent, Udoka et al. Is it crazy to suggest that Big Man #3 is currently on some other NBA roster right now? Stranger things have happened. For some reason I think this time around something is going to happen to this club. Pop will never publicly announce he's looking to make a deal. He's more of the "speak softly and carry a big stick" type. I just have the feeling a move will be made. The guys are too familiar with each other, too tired of each other, and the team needs new blood and a fresh face. I'd love to say Robert will be the one to go, but he has less than zero value. More likely I think it'll be Elson who's flipped and maybe a small with him like Brent. Don't be shocked is all I'm saying. Barry has maybe two weeks or three to prove himself indispensable.

Anyway, I never thought we were going to lose the Minnesota or Philly games, not for a second. The team hasn't sunk into that much of an abyss quite yet and those teams are too awful to not get in their own way. The second half of the Pistons game was more competitive, but I think Pop was thrilled they got punked as badly as they did in the first 24 minutes. It was an eye opener for all involved I'm sure. Maybe Brent and some good health are all we need to get the offense going, maybe not. Pop doesn't give a shit. He's more concerned with the D and that's much more of a work in progress. First there needs to be the commitment from the players, and that right now is missing. The Cavs and Rockets are competitive clubs, the Bobcats game is a real trap (they're frisky at home and it's a ridiculous early MLK day start, they got thumped in Chicago last year in that same circumstance) and the Lakers are playing very well these days, even without Andrew Bynum. We'll know more about which way the team is trending after these four games. 4-0 seems wildly unlikely given their present state, but I'm not as fatalistic as to think 1-3 either. The over/under would be 2.5 wins and I'm going under. Unfortunately, I don't think we've hit rock bottom quite yet.

The Spurs (and me) are Mostly Back

At long last, the nightmare is over. I think even my cold is gone now.
(Photo by Noah Graham/NBAE via Getty Images)
Holy fucking shit it’s about time. No, wiseass, not me posting again. I’m talking about the Big Three finally playing together again. Is it a coincidence that for the first time in what seems like forever the sun is shining outside? I don’t think so, my friends. I knew The Sickness wasn’t about to let me down and skip and rest on his fanny with the Spurs in town to play the Dubs.

The Clip game yesterday afternoon was merely an appetizer to tonight’s main course and I predict Gino will avenge his miserable showing in Oaktown last month, where his shooting slump began. The Spurs won’t take Nelson’s band of ne’erdowells so lightly this time around and I’ll be mighty surprised indeed if once again Matt Bonner is our offensive bell-cow.

What’s it been, something like 13 games since the Real Big Three have suited up? No, I’m not counting that first Clippers game. Manu played two minutes. Screw that. Anyway, over those 13 we went a paltry 7-6. There goes that “they’d still be good even with two of the three” theory, eh? A 7-6 pace wouldn’t even get you in the playoffs in the West. Well, maybe it might, as an 8th seed, but then we’d just get smoked by those lame, boring son-of-a-bitch Spurs. Oh wait, we are the Spurs. Well shit, somebody would beat us.

Anyway, here is the complete breakdown of how we did with each guy missing, just for shits and giggles. Right off the bat I’m telling you that this information is both pointless and useless. It means nothing. But read on!

Without Timmy: 2-2 Vs. Playoff Teams: 2-2 Vs. Scrub Teams: 0-0
Without Tony: 1-3 Vs. Playoff Teams: 1-2 Vs. Scrub Teams: 0-1
Without Manu: 4-2 Vs. Playoff Teams: 0-2 Vs. Scrub Teams: 4-0

It should be noted that there was a one game overlap, the Lakers game, where both Tim and Tony were out. On paper that was a no-chance game, but the Lakers played poorly and a couple of our role guys stepped up to make it a game. Not that I’m making excuses for Manu or anything, because he sucked that game. SUCKED. If he was halfway decent we’d have won that one. But anyway, I think what this meaningless, way too small of a sample size chart shows is that A) you need Manu in 4th quarters against good teams and B) the smalls might have rallied around Tim’s absence because NOBODY thought they could beat Dallas or Utah without him, but once the initial euphoria of that wore down, they looked quite wimpy indeed. As for the part about Tony’s absence, don’t tell anyone, but I kinda missed the 15 to 20 easy points we were guaranteed every night with him blowing by the much slower, less athletic opposing point guard. That little shit is kind of a big deal for our team, even if I give him a hard time now and again. Of course, if Beno was still on the team, we wouldn’t have missed Parker at all. The Spurs were a fucking juggernaut when Udrih started. I mean, you can’t even debate this.

Here’s a brief rundown of the past five games, as I remember them in a comatose haze. Holy fuck are the Spurs boring without Manu. Well there are other reasons why they’ve been boring, but we’ll get to that in time.

Raptors 83, Spurs 73

God what a mess this was. When the sked came out if you told me this one would end 83-73 bad guys, I’d have blown my forever-runny nose right on your new leather shoes. There’s simply too much offensive talent, on both sides, for an NBA game to be played this poorly. I don’t know what was worse, watching Tim and Tony combine for 12 turnovers, many of them unforced, or having to listen to homeriffic Sean Elliott sugarcoat each and every single one of them. Sean, it’s okay, they’re allowed to lose every once in a while. You’re not going to get fired for criticizing the team now and again or just pointing out their mistakes. Please, just have a little credibility, that’s all I ask. At least with the road announcers, it’s fun to make fun of them. I hate having to pick on our own guys, but Elliott calling a Spurs loss is torturous.

At their low point the Spurs were down 16, 40-24 and they finished the first half with more turnovers than made field goals. No simple task, that. That they managed to make a game of it in the 3rd quarter has less to do with any heroic individual effort on their part and more to do with T-Dot, who were pretty inept offensively themselves. I don’t know how much defensive credit we deserve when the Raptors, who lead the league in 3-point shooting, hit only 4 of 16 and when Chris Bosh only makes 5 of 16 shots, despite having wide open looks from 18 feet and in all night long. We only forced seven turnovers and had a mere four blocks, so the hustle stats weren’t there for our defense, by any means. I think it was just a case of Sam Mitchell letting Pop sucker him into playing a slow pace when clearly the Raptors could’ve blown San Antonio out of the water by forcing the issue.

Not that Pop himself conducted a coaching clinic, by any stretch. Playing Bowen 38 minutes when the team desperately needed offense and the Raptors not having a legitimate perimeter threat was a dumb move. Bruce couldn’t work himself into a frothy lather, not having anyone particularly dangerous to guard and as a result he kind of mixed and matched a little bit against everybody and pretty much got burned by whoever he went up against. A team worst -20 when the next lowest was Tony with -6? For shame, Bruce.

Then again, where exactly was offense going to come from? Our “stars” on this evening were Michael Finley and Matt Bonner, who shot a combined 9 of 26. Wheee. To say ball movement was a problem would be an understatement. The guys couldn’t string two passes together without turning it over so after a while they figured the best option was to simply let the guy with the rock shoot it. A hot stretch from Fin and Timmeh got them to the 4th down on only three, but a four minute offensive dry spell, where (you won’t believe this) Robert Horry was prominently involved opened the door for Toronto to get the margin back to nine and that was pretty much that.

Spurs 111, Grizzlies 87

Here was the one game we played during my latest sojourn to Reno. I won’t bore anyone with the details because all of my gambling stories pretty much wind up sounding the same, but here are the highlights:

We arrived on Sunday morning, a half hour before the Week 17 NFL games and I promptly made $80 bucks in football bets. Manolis, meanwhile won $350 on his first horse racing wager. That’s right, horseracing. In fact, I think the fucking things were even carrying midgets on chariots. Manolis is the luckiest degenerate on the face of the planet. Flush with my football prognostication skills, I made $50 more in bets on the evening’s Colts/Titans game. I fucked that up royally so I tried to win that money back in blackjack. Long story short, I was quickly down $400 dollars by the end of the night. Oh, and I fell asleep at a strip club.

On the second day it went back and forth with the blackjack, I got as high as being down only $200 and as low as being down $650. In fact, I would’ve been down to my last $100 if I lost this one hand where I had to stay on 16 against the dealer’s 10. Luckily, she busted and I wound up winning another hand and I was back to being only $450 down before Manolis and I decided to try our luck at poker, $2-4 hold ‘em. That went really well for me, I even had a hand where I made four jacks, and they give you a $100 bonus for that, and I think I made like $234 on poker in a few hours. Then I made another $50 in roulette (playing my Spurs numbers and Alexei Kovalev’s 27) my number came up four times out of nine, I think. Kovalev’s twice, Matt Bonner’s 15 once and Frankie Von Hoojdunk’s 16 once. I made another $50 in blackjack, making 21 both hands, once when I got a 9 after being dealt Q-2, and the second time after I got a A-6, then another 6, then an 8. Like a dummy, I quit.

The third day we really didn’t gamble very much at all. We played poker again for a couple of hours, I lost $92 there, including a brutal hand where I misread the board badly. I had 2-3 suited and the flop came 4-5-10. I had an up-and-down straight draw, needing only an A or a 6. A queen came on the turn, helping nobody, I thought. On the river though came that miracle A. I thought I had the nut straight, an unbeatable hand since there were no flushes on the board and nobody could’ve made a full house either since the board didn’t have a pair on it.

There were only four people in the hand by the end, me, Manolis and two other twits. If it’s just me and Manolis we just check against each other since we don’t want to take each other’s money but since there were more guys involved, it was fair game. So Manolis bet and I raised. The third guy folded but the fourth guy called. Then Manolis surprised the hell out of me and re-raised. You’d think at this point I would’ve been smart enough to look at the board again, but no, not I. I was certain I had the best hand possible. So I re-raised him. The other guy still called that bet, and then Manolis re-raised me back, capping the betting. At this point, I thought he had a 2-3 as well and I was going to push. No way Manolis bets like that without the best hand. Still, a draw wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world with all those chips in the pot, especially with half of it going to my best friend, right?

By now you’ve probably figured out he had the J-K and he crushed my Wheel with a Broadway. Man I was royally pissed about that one. I got up soon after that and headed back to the blackjack table to regain my losses as well as my dignity. I won a $100 in like four hands and left Reno down maybe $30 or so. The best part of the trip was that I didn’t have to pay for any hotels or food because his parents get comped like crazy for everything with all their horse racing betting. They bet on literally every race when they’re down there, from beginning to end, and there’s a new one that starts every five minutes or so. It’s crazy. Anyway, you might think spending New Year’s at a poker table sounds lame or even pathetic, but trust me, I’ve had worse.

Meanwhile our Spurs had themselves a little matinee against the Grizzles that Sunday, and while I didn’t’ get to watch very much of it in Reno, I did Tivo the thing and saw it when I got home. It was, by far, their best offensive showing of the five games Manu missed. Tony sliced and diced his way through the lane against the lumbering Damon Stoudamire and even made all 12 of his free throws. Tim looked plenty springy and motivated, two adjectives we definitely don’t get to attribute to him too much during the regular season these days, on his way to a tour de force 24-17-7 night, and Fin set a new season high with 24 points, on 8 of 12 shooting. Even Bonner chipped in, with 18.

I don’t know what got into the fellas that day, especially Tim, but I’m certain it had something to do with the reappearance of Darko Milicic. Joe Dumars’ infamous draft pick didn’t play in the last go around between the two teams (neither did Gasol) and in a bizarre coincidence, they beat us. Darko constantly overplayed Tim, going for steals when the more prudent thing would’ve been to put a body on the 1st Team All-NBAer, and Duncan had easy baskets time and again. I don’t know if Milicic-Gasol-Mike Miller is the softest frontcourt in NBA history, but it very well might be the palest, and Tony had no problem penetrating into the gooey middle of that twinkie for lay-ups, freebie attempts or easy kickouts for three.

Most likely the guys just wanted to redeem themselves after their sorry showing at Memphis the week before, Tim in particular for giving Rudy Gay too much room on the game winning jumper. Bruce meanwhile, perhaps peeved at being spit-roasted by both Miller and Gay in that game was at his pesky best, holding Miller and his ridiculous hair without a shot attempt in the first half. Memphis was so awful defensively that even Jacque Vaughn and Van Hoojdunk had nice performances against them, combining for 14 points on 7 of 8 shooting.

The Grizzlies have some nice shooters going for them, but this club plays defense exactly the way you’d expect it to loaded with a bunch of Europeans and coached by an ex-assistant of Mike D’Antoni. The development of Mike Conley in a couple of years might help, but Milicic and Miller need to be shipped out and upgraded for some guys who are bigger and meaner and the bench needs more bigs as well. Stromile Swift sucks and unfortunately it seems that I was way wrong about Hakim Warrick. He’s not going to ever be a star in this league.

Nuggets 80, Spurs 77

The Nuggets game was as frustrating as it was unwatchable. The Spurs had it. I mean, they had it. Up four, 1:30 to play, that should be a lock. But Tony was a little too lax against a screen and gave Anthony Carter all the room in the world to hit a three and then after Tim got stripped by Kenyon Martin, another defensive miscommunication between Tony and the Red Rocket led to the game winning lay-up by the “Bad Ass Yellow Boy.” Kenyon Martin making clutch plays to beat the Spurs? I’m not ready to live in that world.

We still had our chance to win it, but the wee Frenchman got stuffed for what seemed like the 10th time that game and then Bruce clanked a wide open 15 footer. Crap. Sorry, but watching that whole miserable sequence, I couldn’t help but think, “There’s no fucking way we lose this game if Manu played.” He’d have scored a dozen fourth quarter points just on all the hacks Martin and Nene would’ve no doubt given him. They can’t resist. It’s like the three guarantees in life are death, taxes, and the Nuggs beating the hell out of Ginobili in Denver.

Here the Spurs played smartly and bravely, committing just eight turnovers and clamping down on all the Nuggets outside of Carmelo and A.I., but it’s just too hard to win scoring only 77 points. Duncan didn’t have much juice at all and was harassed all night by the wave after wave of bigs Denver threw at him and Tony repeatedly tried to force it against their shot blockers, which was a mistake on his part. You can’t have the same strategy against every defense and Parker erred big time in treating the Nuggets like they’re the Grizzlies. May he just wasn’t prepared to the sight of Nene, Martin, Eduardo Najera and Marcus Camby all being healthy at the same time. Such an occurrence is rarer than Halley’s Comet, but yet, there they were.

Beating the Nuggets is no secret. We’ll have to outsmart them, outshoot them, and out-discipline them, same as always. Points inside will be hard to come by and they obliterated us in the paint in this one. Counting on injuries would be awfully unsporting, yet given their track record, it’s hard to picture their frontline being totally unblemished by the time May rolls around. Outside of Houston, they’re the most fragile contender, both physically and mentally, right? Either way, I’m not too worried about meeting up with Denver again. Same old Nuggets.

P.S. This was the second game Horry started and did squat. But Oberto, as a reserve, was even worse than squat. I couldn’t even get upset that their stupid announcers kept pronouncing his last name “Auberto” because he didn’t play well enough to have it pronounced properly.

Spurs 97, Knicks 93

So much for the good defense the club had been playing. This was awful. This was pathetic. This was embarrassing. The Spurs let themselves get bullied and knocked around against a listless, disorganized, heartless Knicks team that has openly quit on their coach, the beleaguered Isiah Thomas. How can you let a team captained by Stephon Marbury shoot 49%? How can Timmy shoot 5 of 16 against a side that had 0 blocks? Talk about not showing up to play. The guys just threw their uniforms out there against New York, took them as lightly as possible, and it was barely – barely – enough. The only things that saved them were a rash of unforced Knick turnovers, some better than expected shooting from Rocket and Findog, and a halfway decent offensive night from Mr. Potatohead.

Still, Tim was MIA, getting outplayed by fatboy Eddy Curry of all people, and Tony was in a fog all night. You’d think facing Starbury would motivate him since the turd routinely beat Parker to a pulp when Tony first came into the league. Nope, he just wasn’t into it. The Knicks have fallen so far that we, the most business-like team in the NBA, can’t be bothered to take them seriously. I only shudder to think what might have happened had Zach Randolph played. Really, I can’t even discuss this game rationally, I get so upset just thinking about it. Just rest assured that if the two teams switched coaches before the game, the Knicks would’ve won by a dozen points. A Lakeritis special, all the way.

P.S. Props to DerMarr Johnson, who looked like he had a decent stroke, in limited action. Oh jeez, I’m starting to sound like TimVP. Grrrrrr.

Spurs 88, Clippers 82

Oh thank Christ. Now if y’all can just stay healthy the rest of the year, I might be able to enjoy basketball again. Think of every negative stereotype you’ve heard about the Spurs the past decade; they’re slow, they’re boring, they’re one-dimensional, they’re whiny, and that’s them without Manu. The offense was mostly excruciating to watch, getting points was like squeezing blood from a stone, and the whole lot of them, especially Timmy , have started to again fall into the nasty habit of bitching to the refs after every call or non-call.

Yo, dude, the refs aren’t the problem. The problem is that you can jump about three inches off the ground these days, you’ve got three pesky motherfuckers swarming you, and your passing options are Bruce Bowen, Ime Udoka, and Robert Horry. Let Timmy play 25 minutes a night with both Tony and Manu again and voila, I predict much less bitching in the future. And just wait until Bones joins them. We might actually start having nights where we shoot over 35% from threes again.

And I saw in the San Antonio paper that Pop is still concerned about the offense. Oh, really? Well let me take a wild stab in the dark and guess that it has something to do with you starting a 58 year old fossil at center who is shooting like 23%. You put him out there with other offensive luminaries like Bowen and Finley, and points are going to be hard to come by on nights that Tony Parker doesn’t play like a young Allen Iverson.

Let me sound it out for you, real nice and slow for you Pop: Robert. Horry. Can’t. Play.

He’s had a nice run, but it’s over. Time to put him out to pasture. Your offense was playing swell when the big three was healthy, Oberto was starting and Horry was chained to the bench. Then the big three got themselves unhealthy and you started experimenting with RoHo because he has pictures of you drinking Merlot out of a cardboard box or something. Stop playing him, I beg you. And once Barry comes back, stop playing Udoka too. It’s very hard to screw up the San Antonio Spurs, but giving Horry any meaningful minutes would go a long way toward that end. I’d even rather see Tinyball than Horryball. Because Horryball is horri-ble. Clever, eh? That’s why I get paid the big bucks.

The Clips game played out like we should expect. Kaman gave Duncan fits, Parker mostly had his way with Cassell and Brevin Knight and Manu did a bunch of Manu things, drawing fouls on both ends, blocking a Cuttino Mobley lay-up, hitting a big three to pretty much put the game to bed, finishing a team high +16. He still can’t shoot very well with that bandage thingy on his hand, but it was nice to see him out there again for sure, especially with a couple of boring as piss NFL playoff games as the only other television alternative. I dare say we wouldn’t have won that one without Manu. But then again, we probably wouldn’t have won it without Timmy or Tony either. Robert Horry? I’ll go out on a limb and say we could’ve squeezed by without him.

I’m just relieved that the big three are back and hopeful that the knock Tim took on his knee near the end won’t be enough to keep him out of the Warriors game tonight. We missed him plenty the first time and I don’t want the Spurs to go 0 for 2 here. I have to leave pretty soon, so I think I’ll wrap it up here for now.

P.S. Yes, Clippers TV guys, we get it. Eva Longoria is married to Tony Parker. She attends quite a few of his games. Really, we’re used to this and this is not a revelation to us. Yes, she’s very pretty, we totally agree with you. But you really don’t have to show her every single time Tony makes a basket. You don’t have to show her every time he gets knocked ass over tea kettle. You don’t have to show her texting her friends when Tony is on the bench. No, I don’t think she’s texting Tony right now during the game. Pop would probably be somewhat peeved at that. Good golly. Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson have nothing on us.