Kicking Ray Allen's Bitch Ass In Drag

Game 56 Vs. Seattle: Spurs 102, Supersonics 71

Great googly moogly are we playing well right now. This is definitely our best little stretch of the whole season and as down as I've been about the club as recently as three weeks ago, I've got to admit that it looks like we're in the nascent stages of another patented March-April blitz through the Association. The big three are all scoring at an extraordinarily efficient rate, Elson is finally working well with Timmy on defense and the Vaughn-Ginobili backcourt has revitalized the bench to the point that we're starting to dominate those scripted second unit stretches of the game, the last four minutes of the 1st and 3rd quarters and the first four of the 2nd and 4th quarters. All that being said, I don't believe we've proven one iota that we can compete with Dallas or Phoenix, or that we're any better right now than Houston or Utah.

However there are reasons for optimism -

1. We have Timmy, still the best all around player in the NBA. I repeat, THE BEST ALL AROUND PLAYER IN THE NBA. He cannot be guarded one-on-one by anyone on another Western contender, he's a smart passer out of the double team, he's a ferocious rebounder and he is, by far, the best defender of any superduperstar. Dirk and Amare are awesome, awesome players, but they do not lead, they do not inspire and they do not make their teammates better.

2. We have the tightest squad. Everyone is comfortable with their roles, everyone knows what is expected of them and no one will play selfishly or scared. We will not beat ourselves, somebody will have to knock us out, four games out of seven.

3. You can only play five guys at once. Some other squads might be deeper than us with their top eight guys or top ten, but our advantage is that you only play five at once and I'll put our top three against anyone's, offensively and defensively. What's just as critical is that the other two playing with our big three will know what their responsibilities are at all times.

Anyway, we're still a long way from the playoffs, so back to the game at hand. Unfortunately it was one of those god forsaken "silver Saturday" deals and we wore these tinfoil untuckable eyesores that were a cross between what our sister WNBA team, the Silver Stars wear and some slutty gown you might see on a high end Hollywood callgirl.

+ =

If John Ameachi is interested in making a comeback...


But besides that the game was a two hour clinic. We shot 53% from the field, 50% from three and 80% from the stripe. We outrebounded them, outassisted them, (by 18!) had more blocks, more steals, fewer turnovers and fewer fouls. Perhaps the best way to illustrate how much better we were than Seattle though might be this: we played the quintet of Oberto-Bonner-Finley-Udrih-Vaughn for the entire fourth quarter - and lost only two points off the 33 point lead that we had entering the final period.

Basically all you need to know about what kind of game it was is that Bruce held punk ass Ray Allen to 4 of 20 on one of the floor and had a fast break dunk on the other. Or as Timmy called it, "a strong lay up." Even more pathetic than Allen's shooting was Bob Hill's lame excuses afterward, blaming the loss on his team being "tired" and on the refs missing calls on Rashard Lewis "who was fouled about 25 times."

Whatever, Boner. I can't believe you're still employed. But seriously, is there a bigger fake superstar than Ray Allen? My colleague Matthew on PtR who has lived in Seattle for a few years despises Ray-Ray. Can't say I blame him. Allen brings nothing to the table defensively, shrinks from physical play at all times and has no clue how to make his teammates better. He is the classic 80's-style Alex English/Bernard King/Chris Mullin/Dale Ellis unrepentant gunner who will never ever sniff a ring. It wouldn't really annoy me if he didn't whine like a little girl so much. You just know he's thinking, "Screw Bruce and his rings, did he ever get asked to shoot a sex scene with Jill Kelly and Chasey Lain?"

Touché.

Three people who spent a part of their Friday night sucking hard.

Then again, I suppose the mainstream media is partly responsible for christening guys like Allen as stars in the first place. And by mainstream I don't mean the John Hollingers or David Berris of the world. Hell, look at today's headline on ESPN.com about the Heat/Cavs game: "Shaq picks up slack, leads Heat past Cavs." Shaq hit half of his shots, some from as far as six or seven feet away and one of his seven free throws. 19 points on 18 shots. To suggest that such a performance is commensurate with a 20 million dollar salary or that it helps to offset Dwyane Wade's absence is insulting to fans and doubly insulting to Wade. The whole reason that Flash was in the MVP conversation (as well as having the highest PER in the league - you know who is 7th) is because he does a hell of a lot more with 18 shots than 19 points.

That Miami was able to win a game in which Shaq stunk, Wade was out and Jason Kapono shot 6-of-18 is not something to be celebrated. All it means is that Miami is terrible, Cleveland is even more terrible and the Eastern Conference is really, really, really, really terrible. I strongly advise watching any playoff games played to the right of the Mississippi this May without the calming and hallucinatory influences of numerous drugs in your system.

I suppose it's all relative. As ordinary as Shaq pays these days he is a star when compared to the likes of Antoine Walker who successfully converted his first free throw in over two months today. He is now shooting 33% from the stripe on the year albeit in only 60 attempts. That's right, he's 6'8", he's played over a thousand minutes on the year and he's got 60 free throw attempts. Mr. Shimmy is being paid over 7 million this year and the Heat are on the hook for him for another four seasons after this to the tune of just under 39 Mil. While he appears to be a supreme candidate for the amnesty clause, at the end of the day somebody will pay him that money. Let's remember all this the next time we rail at the Spurs front office.

It's a sick, sick world out there.

Speaking of our guys, we had so many strong performances last night that "3 Stars" wouldn't do them justice. So a tip of the cap to...

Matt Bonner who played the entire fourth quarter and scored 13 points and snared four rebounds in by far his strongest game since returning from his MCL injury.

Manu Ginobili who effortlessly filled the stat sheet with 11-5-7 in only 22 minutes of work and six shot attempts. You knew he'd have a low profile night after exploding for forty at Atlanta on Wednesday. Both Manu and Pop like to stay as far below the radar as possible. Right now he can do whatever he wants out there. And oh by the way, he was a sickening + 30. In 22 minutes.

Robert Horry who canned four of his six threes, despite often receiving the ball in less than ideal circumstances. I would have liked to place him into the top three, but it just wouldn't have been fair to the other guys. Pretty much all Robert did yesterday was hang around the three point line. No rebounds, no assists, no nothin.' Of course if he can shoot anywhere near this well in May, I won't complain.

Anyway, here's the top three...

3. Tony Parker - Rediscovered his shooting touch, hitting 10 of his 15 shots and even nailing his only three point attempt. His 12 points in a six minute stretch of the 2nd quarter pushed the lead from four to 15 and ended all the drama of this one pretty quickly.

2. Bruce Bowen - Dude made Allen crap his pants once again and even hit half of his six shots, including that thunderous dunk. Vintage Bowen.

1. Tim Duncan - First star for six points? You bet. Tim was definitely the best player out on the floor, thoroughly controlling the game at both ends. He grabbed 15 rebounds, blocked 5 shots and had four assists. Seattle couldn't get anything inside against him. Bill Russell must've played a thousand games like this in his career. Bravo!

Record: 38-18 Streak: W-5
Up Next: Vs. Toronto Raptors
A win here would give us a season best six game streak, but it won't be easy. T-dot is really playing well right now, they look like they have excellent chemistry and the trio of Garbagosa, Bargnani and Calderon are all contributing mightily. The Raptors might be the one squad out there even more international than we are and if I have to root for somebody in the East, it might as well be them. Here's to the lowest rated Finals ever!

Something Special

As one of our reader's noted -- we've had over 10,000 in the last three months, by the way -- Manu's 24 straight points against the Atlanta Hawks "was something special." I couldn't agree more.



Michael agrees, too.

I got to my place a bit later than usual because I had a meeting with one of my editors at the paper. I didn't really care because I was recording the game anyway, but the second I sat down in front of the computer was when Manu was shooting the last of his three free throws and the 24th of his 24 consecutive points for the Spurs. Obviously it took me a couple of minutes to comprehend what I was watching.

Then I started touching myself.

Fast forward a couple of hours after I finished watching the game from beginning to end and I think it's safe to say that it was one of the more enjoyable contests of the season for your humble narrator. Alright, alright, it was the most enjoyable, by about a hundred times. The only other game that I can think of that comes anywhere close was that huge second half Udrih-led comeback at Houston.

You'll find the rest of Michael's post, "Manu 24, Hawks 23," at Pounding The Rock.

Great Final Games

"[The Dallas Mavericks are] the deepest, most versatile team in the NBA. They have an answer to every question. They can play super big, and they can play super fast. They're always long and they always put a great shooting team on the floor."

"Right now, Phoenix is really, really good and I think San Antonio will have a great final 28, 29 games. Those three are a cut above everyone else now."
--Jeff Van Gundy, Head Coach of the Houston Rockets

I think Van Gundy is right, and the Spurs are off to a good start winning four in a row, including a big win over the Pistons right before the All-Star break.

But Van Gundy is being a bit coy, too. His Rockets are just 2.5 games behind the Spurs. The teams face each other March 3rd in Houston. By then, I expect the Spurs to have widened that gap to 3.5. Why? The Spurs play three games at home, while the Rockets play two at home and one road game in Orlando.

The big tests for the Spurs will come in the last two weeks of the season.

• 3/30 vs Utah
  
• 4/5 vs Phoenix
  
• 4/15 at Dallas

We'll know by then what the Spurs are made of, and whether this could be another championship season. It's going to be a helluva ride.

RIP: Dennis Johnson

I was shocked to learn that Dennis Johnson died today. Most fans will remember Johnson simply as a great player.

Johnson, a five-time All-Star and one of the great defensive guards, played 14 seasons and retired after the 1989-90 season. He played on title teams with the Boston Celtics in 1984 and 1986 and with the Seattle SuperSonics in 1979 when he was the NBA finals MVP.

By 1979 I was already an avid Spurs fan. The Spurs made it all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals that season, losing 4-3 to the Washington Bullets, who then lost 4-1 to Johnson's Sonics in the Finals. I remember cheering for Johnson and the Sonics in that series, partly out of a need to see the Bullets lose.

The Spurs downslide during the 1984 to 1989 seasons coincided with Johnson's trade to Boston, and my brief fling as a Celtics fan. My poster of the Iceman was replaced by pictures of Larry Bird, Kevin McHale and Dennis Johnson.

Johnson was head coach of the San Antonio Spurs D-league Austin Toros. He collapsed at the end of today's practice in Austin. He was just 52 years old.

Was the Question Who's the Gimpy Chucker With the Cornrows?

Game 54: Vs. Denver: Spurs 95, Nuggets 80

Holy crap! Our boys came charging out of the gates after the All-Star break just as resoundingly gung-ho as they barreled into it, beating the holy hell out of the rich & creamies. Not only was the final score much closer than the “contest” actually played out, thanks to a 32-16 spankin’ of Beno and his fellow scrubs in the fourth, but even more importantly the big three all had the luxury of being bored spectators like the rest of us for the final twelve minutes. With nobody playing more than 25 mins against Denver, why call me crazy, but I think we’ve got a decent shot to come out of the ATL with a Dub. Ya heard?

Okay, I’ll stop that now.

Anyway, I know there are a handful of reasons out there for me not to make too much of our recent play in general and the Nugs game in particular. Count ‘em off with me… 1) First game after the All-Star break and Carmelo and AI were probably exhausted/hung over/sluggish 2) Iverson had a gimpy ankle 3) The two of them still aren’t used to each other 4) J.R. Smith hardly played 5) Our geezers were well rested 6) Our guys wanted to put on a good performance for the home fans whom they haven’t seen in a month, etc., etc.

Or maybe, just maybe we’re way better than them.

79-48 after three quarters better? No. But maybe the coach has slowly figured a few things out, through trial and error and we’re finally on our way to squeezing all of the juice from the fruit. For example, the Fabricio Oberto as Starting Center experiment is over. He’s neither big nor athletic enough to match up against the opposing five on most nights and our interior defense suffered for it. He’s much better suited to be a 15 minute “energy guy” like a slightly bigger version of Najara. Elson on the other end won’t be outquicked or outhopped by too many bigs outside of Howard and Amare, he can knock down the occasional jumper and his length is better suited to both challenge shots and clean the glass. Oberto is the better offensive rebounder, but for our club getting back in transition and limiting the opposition to one contested shot has always been the main thing.

Not looking so confused these days, is he?

Also, I think making Manu the sixth man was the right move in so many ways. For one, it shows that Pop might be making the concession that playing him and Tony together is like fitting a square peg into a round hole. I don’t know how much longer I could have watched if Ginobili kept starting night after night and checked out of the 1st quarter at the six minute mark with zero field goal attempts. By playing as few minutes as possible with Parker, Manu gets to be the number one option when he is on the court and a lot of the time it’s against the other team’s second unit or their weary starters. Now it’s like watching rookie Manu all over again, in terms of mentality. No more tentativeness, no more pacing himself, no more “throwing it in to Timmy to establish the low post game” it’s just get the ball and go – but with the bonus that now he knows what he’s doing out there (took him about 100 NBA games to figure the league out). Best of all, making him a reserve allows Pop to keep at least one of the big three on the floor at all times unless it’s a blowout. We’ve suffered too many runs against us late in the 1st and 3rd quarters this year when all three were on the pine.

Being a starter is not helping Brent’s game any, but with Tony and Tim out there, we don’t need too much scoring. Just having him camping out behind the line and spacing the floor helps Duncan out and it removes the angst of having to get the third guy shots just to keep him in the flow of the game, which is way more of a concern with Manu. Brent doesn’t need shots. He just needs to be an open outlet.

I think Pop’s figured Horry out too. For one, he doesn’t even bother with him on segababas. There’s no point to it, he just can’t do it. But for regular games, Pop is treating RoHo like a rook – you don’t play D and hit the boards, you don’t play. Horry’s intensity on defense has been noticeably higher these past dozen games or so and he’s really been making an effort on crashing the glass. The results aren’t always there, but I’ve noticed the effort. I would estimate at least ¾ of the energy he’s expending in games these days have been at our own end. On offense Pop doesn’t care what he does, figuring he has enough sense to not keep jacking shots if they’re not going in.

Finally, I am coming around on the Jacque Vaughn thing. I’m not totally convinced I’m wrong yet, but the team’s second unit is playing noticeably better with Vaughn than when Beno ran the show. Jacque has always been known for his defense, so that helps to limit the damage opponents inflict upon us when Timmy’s not out there. Even if we’re not scoring, the other guys aren’t going on huge runs. Udrih cannot do that. But on offense Vaughn seems to have a good handle of his strengths and weaknesses and doesn’t force anything. Mostly he just hands it to Manu and gets the hell out of the way. But even with the ball in his hands, he’s been good about not wasting possessions. In his last six games as the number two, he’s got 15 assists and 2 turnovers. And like Avery used to do it, he only takes shots from the perimeter when he’s totally, completely ridiculously open. As far as sheer ability there’s no question Beno is superior, but Pop had squashed all the confidence out of him and he can’t move on the floor without thinking about it, looking over his shoulder after every mistake. Vaughn is too old to care about any of that and he certainly won’t be intimidated by a coach or anyone else. He knows he’s a reserve, he knows he has limited skills and he plays when they tell him to play and sits when they tell him to sit. There’s no emotional roller coaster with him. I don’t fear the specter of having Vaughn as our backup point in the playoffs because unlike Nick Van Excrement he’ll play D and he won’t take any awful threes.

I'm thinking he'd rather have faced Udrih.

As for the Thuggets, they don't seem to have any clue how to play together. Iverson and 'Yelo have the physical ability to play D, but no inclination to do so. Najara and the Nutcracker have the desire, but not the talent. Their only guy who has both is Camby, but he's always hurt. Meanwhile the same guys are never on the floor because of injuries, they can't establish any continuity and their overrated coach is under the impression that he can turn this rag-tag bunch into a Diet Coke version of the Suns. The problem there is that they don't have anywhere near the three point shooting, "Dewey" Blake isn't exactly Steve Nash and they don't have anybody who can score inside easily like Amare or a versatile do-everything guy like Marion. In my opinion the team for the Nugs to emulate should be the Rockets - two main scorers, everyone else a role player, defense paramount above all.

If Karl is half the coach he thinks he is, he's got to get it into his stars' heads to play harder in their own end. Bench them if you have to. But they've got to slow the pace way down and limit the number of possessions in a game. They don't have the teamwide athleticism or shooting to run and gun and both Iverson and Anthony aren't efficient enough scorers to pull it out - they're volume shooters. Like Barkley said the other night, they're not good enough to outscore anybody good. Their only chance, no matter how futile it looks, is to play harder than their opponents for the full 94 feet. Realistically though, if they even make the playoffs, they'll be cannon fodder for Dallas or Phoenix.

Does this look a man who can lead a first round upset of the Mavericks?

Your 3 Stars

3. Bruce Bowen - Helped to limit AI and Anthony to a combined 24 points and had a sweet stuff on the latter. Even scored a bit for once.

2. Tony Parker - A couple of ridiculous lay-ups as always, but really shined on defense, doing a masterful job of keeping Iverson in front of him. Even had a steal from the seat of his pants.

1. Manu Ginobili - Did the brunt of his damage in the 2nd quarter to push the Spurs ahead for good and finished an ungodly + 28 in 19 minutes. Neither him or Tim had a turnover either. Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen again.

Record: 36-18 Streak: W-3
Up Next: @ Atlanta Hawks
Right back on the plane they go to the dirty south. Segababaoppacrappas haven't been much of a problem this year and I'm not expecting this one to be any different. The Hawks interior defense is atrocious and they're not scoring much either. Plus they yesterday too. P.S. If you want my take on All-Star Saturday night (plus the Pistons game), here you go...

Spurs Find Redemption in Auburn Hills

"We've been inconsistent all year, so it was nice to see us put together 48 good minutes. That's one of our best games all year, and it is the finest game Francisco has played for this team."
--Gregg Popovich

"It wasn't tough at all to get up for this one. We aren't playing well, and we really needed to put together a good game before the break."
--Tim Duncan

"This is going to make it a lot easier to enjoy the break. I would have rather gone 6-2 on the trip, but with the way we've been playing, and that we started 2-4, going 4-4 is pretty good."
--Manu Ginobili

Praise be, the Spurs beat the Pistons in Auburn Hills for the first time since Game 5 of the 2005 NBA Finals. And when I say "beat," I mean as in "beating." The Spurs led by as many as 20 points, and by nearly that much for the last two minutes of the second period and all of the third.

Just when I was beginning to lose my faith in the Spurs, and they were wrapping up their worst Rodeo Road Trip in memory, they go and whoop the best team in the East. (Not to mention the New Jersey Nets two nights earlier.) And Francisco Elson had his best night in a Spurs uniform, with a 12-18 stat line.

Last night may not count for much come May when the Spurs face the Rockets or the Lakers in the first round, but it was a hell of a way to head into the All-Star break. One can only hope that Melvin Ely will make a difference when he suits up next Tuesday against the Nuggets, and this team finally gets as tough as they're capable of being.

Speaking of Melvin Ely, three weeks ago we asked our readers, "Who Should Spurs Trade," and you called it, almost. Eric Williams was the second biggest vote getter after Beno Udrih, out of 110 votes cast, and was traded earlier this week to the Bobcats for Ely. So long, Eric, we hardly knew ya.

29 games left until the second season begins.

Hardaway the Homophobe

I never liked Tim Hardaway as a player. It turns out that Hardaway is not only a homophobe, but also a complete idiot.

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

He did make a half-hearted apology, at least I suppose you could call it that. I will give him this: he's right about Bush.

"There are more important things to worry about than my comments. We should be more concerned about President (George) Bush and all the people dying in Iraq."

Beno Comes Out of Jersey Smelling Like a Rose

Game 52 @ New Jersey: Spurs 107, Nets 82

If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times: If we play a team that's missing their starting point guard, small forward and center and even with all those guys they're not that great anyway, I like our chances.

God, it's been a while since we've had one of these, huh? Almost a full week in fact and I was getting antsy. If I don't get to witness a Beno Udrih blowout bonanza at least every third game, that facial tic of mine comes back. I'll be honest, it's not pretty.

There was so much extensive garbage time in this game (so fitting since they were in aromatic Jersey after all) that not only did Doghouse Boy get serious run in the 4th, but Jackie Butler saw 11 minutes of action as well.

Okay maybe "action" isn't the right word for it since he hardly moved, but you know what I mean.

The negatives for Butler:

- Couldn't score inside
- Couldn't scoure outside
- Couldn't set a decent pick
- Couldn't get to the line
- Couldn't get an offensive board
- Couldn't get a defensive board
- Couldn't guard anybody
- Couldn't play help defense

The positives:

- Didn't collapse on the floor
- Had a couple of nice passes
- No turnovers

Still, I'm not sure if it was the kind of eye opening audition that will inspire Coach Poop to play him in a meaningful spot anytime soon. With Bonner's return imminent, he might not even dress the next game. Even worse for poor Jackie, the YES Network's Mark Jackson just SAVAGED him on the air. When Marv Albert informed Jackson that the Spurs coaching staff has been giving Butler videos of Moses Malone to watch and study from, Jackson responded, "Moses Malone? I don't think so. If I were Butler I'd take those videos out of the VCR and go play a movie."

He then trashed Butler for a full five minutes, refusing to let it go even when Albert begged him to move on. Maybe those comments are what the coaches should play for Butler and that'll inspire him to grab a rebound. Or maybe not.

But yeah, just about everyone played well for us, the 20-0 run to begin the 2nd quarter pretty much ended all the suspense very early and the only minor suprise of the night (besides Udrih canning all four of his shots in the fourth) was Oberto being dropped from the rotation. Popovich may have finally had enough of Fab's inconsistent finishing, underwhelming rebounding and Charmin soft presence. After a great first couple of months, it seems that the league has caught on to Oberto's game and the way I see it, he'll be fortunate to be a scrub for two or three more years before quietly being ushered out of the league in his mid 30's. His one discernible skill is offensive rebounding, but he's so bad at everything else that it's not enough to justify having him on the floor.


"Hey Coach, maybe Oberto's back isn't feelin' so good tonight, youknowwhatImean?"

Prior to the game the team did pull off a minor deal, swapping Eric Williams for the Bobcats' Marvin Ely, a dude who has cornrows AND wears a headband. Is that even allowed for the Spurs? From what I hear the front office was at first reluctant to bring Ely aboard, but once they did their homework on him and came to the realization that despite his tough appearance Ely's actually a very poor rebounder and defender, they knew they had found their guy.



Eva was very excited when finding out about the Ely acquisition. A little too excited...

Your 3 Stars...

3. Tony Parker - Had a lot of fun playing against a squad with no shotblockers, yet still was unselfish enough to come up with TWO assists. Take that haters!

2. Manu Ginobili - Had a sweet block (or was it a steal?) on Moore and fed it to Tony for an ultra-rare fastbreak lay-up. Did a bunch of typical Manu things and finished with a team best +29. Vinsanity does not care for him, let's say.

1. Tim Duncan - Another all around dominant night for Mr. Chuckles, including a flawless 7 of 7 from the line. I guess he saves the clanks for the good teams. Hee hee.

Record: 34-18 Streak: W-1
Up Next: @ Detroit Pistons
The rodeo roadtrip and the pre-All Star break portion of the schedule both come to a merciful end tonight in Motown. Not only are the Webber led Pistons probably the favorites to come out of the Least, but it's a segababa. It's won't be impossible for us to win since none of the big three wore themselves out last night, but the guys would have to play significantly tougher and guttier than they have been of late or pray to God that both 'Sheed and C-Webb get a little too jumpshot happy. I hate playing here because it means having to put up with Mason the PA guy so I'm seriously considering having the volume turned off and listening to some music instead. Given the current state of the Spurs, something peppy like The Cure's Pornography would be appropriate.

Send Dwight Howard to Iraq and end the war by next Thursday.

Game 50 @ Orlando: Magic 106, Spurs 104

Oy vey, where do I begin? I was actually back home in San Mateo for this one because I had tickets to see my girl Sarah Silverman in concert at Cobb's Comedy Club, so I basically squeezed this game in between two 500 mile drives, a couple hours of poker, an awkward expensive date, a viewing of Hannibal Rising (sucked) and a couple of hastily written articles for my school paper. By far the most pleasant surprise of the weekend was seeing Brian Posehn perform.

Who you ask?

Oh, you've seen him. He was the creepy mail room guy in Just Shoot Me and he was also in Mr. Show with Bob and David. He's actually a stand up mainly and he toured with Patton Oswalt in the Comedians of Comedy special. Anyway, now he has a role in Sarah's new TV show and I thought to myself how awesome it'd be if he was the special secret surprise opening act for her since they didn't have anyone announced...

and he was!

If only life went like that all the time. His best joke of the night was probably something like "A really bad thing to say to the missus when she's favoring you with some oral is 'We're going to make a mouth-baby.'"

Frankly, he was the best part of the night.

I'd hyped up Silverman so much in my mind that the only way she wouldn't have disappointed me was if she slept with me. Still, it would have helped if 80% of her act wasn't old jokes, including some stuff from her TV show, which was just a totally lame thing to pull I felt.


Not a good sign if this guy was the best part of
a weekend that featured two Spurs games.

Can you tell I'm trying to avoid discussing the game?

Wretched. Awful. Devastating.

How do we blow an 18 point lead to a squad who had precious few perimeter scoring options with Grant Hill out? How do we allow them to shoot 54.5% for the game and score 58 points in the second half? Consider that the foursome of Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson, Carlos Arroyo and (dear God) J.J. Redick average a combined 45 points. On this night they got 89.

What made the loss especially fun was that so many people contributed to make it possible. Brent Barry repeatedly found himself isolated on Nelson on defense and that worked out as one might suspect. Pop thought so little of Bruce Bowen's effort that he only got six second half minutes yet still found a way to blow two crucial freebies late. Elson and Oberto combined for six points and seven rebounds in 31 minutes and inspired the coach to go to tinyball for the last 15 minutes of the game. Horry was MIA as is his custom. Timmeh got dunked on, by my unofficial count, 273 times. Manu had two stupid turnovers early and didn't seem very interested throughout. After taking 20 shots against the Suns, he's put up only 15 FGA in the next two games combined, nine of them from downtown. His defense on Redick was fairly crappy in its own right. Finally there's Tony, who started off like gangbusters in the first half, really found people well, but reverted to clueless, selfish play in the second half, getting swatted at least four times by Howard and repeatedly failing to account for the man's freakish long arms. The less said about his defense in the second half, the better. Also, he missed a killer free throw. I can't really remember anything bad that Finley or Vaughn did, but screw them anyway.


Remember who we are everybody!
In the end, it falls on Pop. It always falls on Pop. The fire and brimstone speeches aren't working. Calling the team soft isn't working. Putting Manu on the bench isn't really making the team any better or worse. Tinyball always has dreadful results. I don't understand why he abandoned playing with the center when we thoroughly outrebounded the Magic for 2.75 quarters. His rotations were terrible, playing guys way too long and exhausting them. Old men like Barry played the entire 3rd (as did Duncan) while Fin played the entire 4th (as did Tony). He didn't get the ball into Ginobili's hands nearly enough despite Manu having freakin' Redick on him for most of the night. Also he should have had Gino covering Turkoglu on the inbounds, where he's excellent at timing his jump just right to deflect the ball, instead of Elson who looked lost and passive so far from the basket.

The coach needs to do something drastic to shake this team up. Removing Udrih from the rotation isn't the answer. Bonner's return might help a little. Either he has to start playing White a few minutes, or we need a trade. They don't have the energy and athleticism to compete for 48 minutes and trying to squeeze great defense and rebounding out of offensive minded fogeys is not going to work. It's getting tad predictable.


These are all for me, another glass for my wife please.
P.S. A heaping triple serving of "F you" to Sean Elliott. Dude, I get that you're a homer and you're going to be supportive of the team an' all that, but for the love of God, please don't check off a game as "being in the win column" midway through the 3rd quarter with a ten point lead. Have you ever said on a broadcast, "Well this one looks like a loss for the Spurs" when they were down ten with 18 minutes to go? No? Then shut the hell up when the shoe is on the other foot, k? An absolutely unforgivable tresspass of karma and when he said it, I knew trouble was ahead. I'm really hoping the front office got wind of it and told him, in no vague terms, that if he ever does anything like that on air again he'll be shitcanned, retired jersey in the rafters or no. Hell, maybe if Sean was gone then Bruce would have nobody to throw a towel at and Pop would have this epiphany and realize that it's time to play James White. Eh?

Your 3 Stars:

3. Tony Parker - Edges out Brent because Bones was so horrid on defense. Still, Tony's game got progressively worse as the night went on. Seriously, does he ever pass out of the 1-4 alignment when he's got the ball at the end of the quarter? Ever?

2. Michael Finley - Knocked down a lot of big shots in the fourth. One might even argue that he was "hot" and that perhaps recognizing this, Ginobili consciously looked to pass him the ball. It sure would be something if Tony could figure out these little nuances of the game.

1. Tim Duncan - Played a fabulous all around game and dominated Howard on the boards, the upset of the night. So he had a bad play at the end...

Record: 33-17 Streak: L-1
Up Next: @ Miami Heat
More suckage ahead. Looks like another Miami-Detroit ECF, unless they match up earlier. I like that they had to bench Shaq to blow us out in the fourth. Yeah, he's great. He was only their second best center in the Finals last year, but whatever. I'd trade Horry for him, but that's about as far as I'd go. If they want Beno too, I'll hang up the phone on Riley's leather-lizard face.

Gilbert Arenas: Spurs "Beat Us Down"

Yes, they did, Agent Zero. Yes, they did.

From Gilbert Arenas' blog on NBA.com:

Whooo, man. Did they come in here and beat us down, or did they?

It was one of them games where you start off and you hit your first basket and you like, “OK!” and you feel good about yourself and then you look up and it’s like you’re down 18-4.

That’s the same thing they did when we played at their place. From there, we’re just trying to make a comeback.

They showed their dominance that game. A team like them, a team like a Phoenix, a team like a Dallas, you know, Houston; You got to be clicking on all cylinders against them.

Those are the four teams that will just actually blow you out.

A FLAT-OUT, 48-MINUTE, THOROUGH BEATING

Look, I'm just one of your humble SpursDynasty journalists. I'm all fact, concrete-detail, quotes, statistics, and commentary-free news.

I'm no commentator.

Kobe is, in fact, a crying, weepy, sad bastard. It's true. No commentary.

Also, I knew the Spurs were going to pummel the Wizards.

But you don't have to take my word for it. Take the word of the Wizards' coach, Eddie Jordan... ''That was just a flat-out, 48-minute, thorough beating - right from the beginning to the end''

Be afraid, NBA. The Rodeo trip is upon you.

Spurs 'Step on the Gas' in Spring

Chris Ekstrand writes in Sports Illustrated:

They have looked old, bored and just plain ordinary at times this season. But if there is one thing you can count on in the NBA, it's the Spurs after the All-Star break. Over the past five seasons, the Spurs' record after Feb. 1 is 135-44 (.754). Their overall record during those years is 297-113 (.724), which is also fantastic, but few teams step on the gas in the spring like San Antonio. The Spurs won't catch Dallas in the Southwest Division, but a typical Spurs' spring would be enough to keep them ahead of Utah, Houston and the Lakers for the third-best record (and this year, the third seed) in the West.

I'd add that the third-best record in the West will also likely be the third-best record in the NBA.

When did Phoenix get so fucking annoying?

Game 48 @ Phoenix: Suns 103, Spurs 87

Long time no blog, I know I know. What can I say, I've been addicted to Minesweeper of late. You might say I'm obsessed with the game. I've gotten to the point where I like to play it "blind" without ever planting the flags on the mines and seeing if I can finish the expert level that way. The bottom line is that I needed a mini vacation from the Spurs and had to spend some quality time with Michael.

And yes, I suppose it is fair to assume that I would have written much sooner if the last six minutes of the Suns game went 180 degrees differently than it did, but I warn you, never underestimate my laziness.

Anyway, the game. Believe it or not, I'm not upset. Maybe the six day lay off has dulled my emotions somewhat and perhaps this post would be a lot more vitriolic and entertaining if I'd written it immediately after the game ended, but I swear I saw more good than bad in this one.

Consider all that happened before you call me loco. We were on the second night of a back-to-back on the road after playing the league's most physical squad the previous evening. We got only five points total from everyone not surnamed Duncan, Ginobili, Parker or Barry. Tim shot 5 of 18 despite having good looks all day. Bruce clanked five corner threes where he couldn't have been more open. Horry, who had been our second best "big" of late, could only play twelve ineffective minutes because he's pretty much useless in segababas. Bonner was injured. We were out rebounded by 10 to a team that doesn't rebound and held below 39% shooting to a team that doesn't play defense.

The team was exhausted, dispirited, beat up and playing like complete ass. And despite all of that my friends, we were right in the game until the last six minutes. The final score really doesn't do the game justice since the Suns, lacking in both class and security, ran it up at the end to make themselves feel better.

I'm gonna lay all the cards on the table folks. I'm going to be crystal clear about this - The San Antonio Spurs will not lose a playoff series to this team. I'm positive of this. I can certainly see the hell-sent Mavs doing the deed. The Rockets would be a nightmare match-up for us with Yao, T-Mac and Bonzi, none of whom we can remotely hope to guard. And I can even see the Mormons giving us a lot of problems. But the Phoenix Suns cannot and will not beat us four out of seven in May, no way, no how.

First of all I love the match-ups between our top three and their top three. Tony can go at Nash all day long and really abuse him on defense. Manu can have his way with Bell or whoever else they throw at him. Tim can dominate inside the key. All three of our guys are far superior defenders than their counterparts. Also, as much shit as I've given Bruce this year, (and believe me, he's deserved it)he still seems to have the Matrix figured out. Marion shot 5 of 16 for the game and once again proved to be a non factor in the half court offense except for put backs.

Really the only guy who scares me on the Suns is Barbosa. He's their X-factor. The whole outlook of the game changed in the second half when Bell got injured and the Brazilian whirlwind started in his place. We really have no answer for him on defense and he's a holy terror in transition when both he and Nash are on the floor at the same time. I think the only solution to this is to make him work as much as possible on defense, try to post him up with Manu or maybe Finley and tire him out a bit that way. Both he and Nash have to be taken advantage of on defense.

All I know is that it isn't a coincidence that the Jazz are 3-0 against these guys. They're a team full of wusses. Can you believe Amare Stoudemire's overreaction in the 3rd quarter when Manu inadvertently kneed him in the balls? Gino didn't say anything about the forearm he took to the face on the play that knocked his upper body backwards and his legs up, but Amare acted like a big entitled baby. At one time I felt bad that this guy had to undergo microfracture surgery and possibly have his career come to an end before it really began, but now I wonder why I ever cared. He's just a tall, preening, flexing doofus.

His criticism of Ginobili didn't even make sense. If Manu is a "flopper" then how come Amare was hurt? Isn't Manu just acting to make it look like the contact is much worse than it actually is? Make up your mind Amare, the guy can either be dirty or a flopper, not both. Just keep dunking the ball and shut the hell up, because every time you open your mouth, you sound like a guy who skipped college and went to about 16 different high schools, okay? Don't forget this is the same clown that did push-ups against us after a dunk in 2004 (Manu's 48 point game). He also has a tattoo on his neck calling himself "Black Jesus" and another one that says "STAT" which stands for "Stand Tall And Talented."

How about "Squished Testicles Aching Terribly?" Dork.


That's right, you big hairy girl, stay away from Manu.

It wasn't too long ago that I considered myself, if not a fan of the Phoenix Suns, than at least a sympathizer. But no longer my friends! They are now dead to me and right below the Mavs and the Heat on the Master Fucktard list. Between Amare's antics, D'Antoni's tired Yosemite Sam footstomping, Bell's tough talk from the bench and the whole team's classless running up of the score, I'm sick and tired of these guys. Hell, I even heard from my friend that their owner comes off as a total dick in the Jack McCallum book. I can't wait to run into these guys in the playoffs. I'm very excited about the possibility and I bet the team is too.

Not that it'd be easy, mind you. Obviously we need more from Bruce, more from Fin, from Brent, from Horry, from Elson and SOMETHING from Beno, who's been absolutely atrocious the past three games just when it looked like he was starting to turn his season around. In eight scoreless, assistless minutes the Bean Burrito was a -11. Good lord.

If only there was somebody out there who was available and could be trusted to hold on to the ball, make accurate passes and step up in clutch situations. Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?


Watch your ass Beno.

Your predictable 3 stars...

3. Tony Parker - Played hard, played well and his performance was probably the most consistent of the big three from beginning to end. He just didn't have a lot of help.

2. Tim Duncan - Dominated every phase of the game except scoring. Just couldn't get anything to drop in the second half. Was very strong defensively most of the night. Had several good passes from the post that guys wasted with bricks.

1. Manu Ginobili - Spectacular through the first three quarters to keep the team in the game, kinda wore down in the fourth. 22 shots is a lot for him and even with the Suns' pace it's pretty indicative of how horrible everyone else was shooting that he put up so many. Seems to really enjoy playing in this building and his mid-range jumper was probably the best it's been all year.

Record: 32-16 Streak: L-2
Up Next: @ Washington Wizards
After a week's respite, the Spurs travel east to take on the poor man's Suns. Surely they'll get a better effort from Agent Zero than when these two clubs faced off in San Antone three weeks ago, but I like our chances since they're missing Jamison. Also, Timmy is probably quite upset about the Super Bowl...

Spurs Too Old For Wizards?

Steve Kerr picks this Wednesday's matchup between the Spurs and Wizards as his game of the week.

Kerr still has the Spurs at #3 in his power rankings, behind the Mavericks and Suns, and the Wizards at #8.

Take note of this remark

'Too old.' 'Too slow.' 'Too methodical.' The Spurs have heard it all. But they're healthy and experienced, and no one will want to play them in May.

I have no clue who has called the Spurs 'too slow" or 'too methodical," but Kerr is right about one thing: no one wants to play the Spurs in May.

Top Posts of 2006

Last year saw dramatic increases in the number of unique visitors and pages viewed here at SpursDynasty. There were approximately 20,000 visitors to the site and nearly 35,000 pages viewed in 2006. If January is any indicator, we look to double that in 2007.

As was the case in 2005, Bramlet Abercrombie dominates the year in review, with seven out of the 10 top posts in 2006*. Interestingly enough, our top post in 2005 had enough traffic in 2006 to rank #6 on this year's list. So without any further adieu, here they are, the top posts of 2006:

#10 2005-2006 Silver Dancers

#9 Revenge of the Bitches

#8 How to maximize the Spurs' Mojo: Watch the game the SpursDynasty way.

#7 The Ten Best Things About the Spurs' Elimination by the Mavericks

#6 Ali G in NBA commercials

#5 Javtokas on his way. Nazr curses Spurs on his way out.

#4 Spurs' future looks bright

#3 Spurs and Pistons on Diverging Paths

#2 Marissa Miller is a Kings Fan?

#1 Robert Horry Bites Jerry Stackhouse



*excluding January 2006

Kobe is a bitch, but he ain't soft

Funk, I'm glad to have you back, but you don't seriously believe that Kobe is soft, do you? Gregg Popovich certainly does not. Before last Sunday's game, Pop said that Kobe is one of the best (the best?) players in the league on both ends of the court. I agree. But I won't make that case here. We'll have that conversation over a few beers sometime.

So why the one-game suspension? First of all, it was totally warranted, given the nature of the contact. But a lot of players commit more egregious fouls and don't get suspended, so why suspend Kobe? Liz Robbins writes in the New York Times:

The N.B.A. has shown little tolerance this season for any action that is illegal and overtly ugly, especially with regard to players’ making contact above the shoulders.

Beyond the Knicks-Nuggets brawl last month, which drew lengthy suspensions for the primary players, Carmelo Anthony and Nate Robinson, five players have received one-game suspensions this month for overly aggressive physical acts.

Minnesota’s Kevin Garnett, Golden State’s Baron Davis, Chicago’s Andres Nocioni and Phoenix’s Raja Bell have all been suspended.

Bell was also suspended one game for clotheslining Bryant in Game 5 of the first round of the Western Conference playoffs last season. Bryant drew a two-game suspension last season for elbowing Mike Miller of the Grizzlies in the throat.

The league conducted an investigation and concluded that Bryant’s action was “not inadvertent,” first watching the telecast live, then reviewing video and interviewing Bryant and Ginóbili. Replays also showed Ginóbili being treated for a bloody nose on the bench.

It's obvious to me that the NBA wanted to make an example of Kobe. But Kobe is one of the top players in the game, you say. True enough, but the NBA is no longer dedicated to "Kobe the product," and there are other products they would rather sell.

The NBA is all about business, and the league has clearly decided that they would prefer to have LeBron James, Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki as their model players, rather than an alleged rapist, no matter how talented he is. They made an example of Carmelo Anthony for getting involved in the fracas at Madison Square Garden, and snubbed him for this year's All Star Game. I don't think these are unrelated coincidences.

The NBA lost a big demographic by associating itself too closely with hip hop culture in the late 90s, and bench-clearing brawls are part of that association. The fights of recent years probably aren't too well received in Utah or Dallas or Phoenix or Minnesota. Ok, maybe they like it in Minnesota.

There is also the perception that the playoffs are somehow rigged to benefit the big market teams, which has turned off a lot of fans. Ralph Nader and the Kings-Lakers series anyone? Making an example of the face of the Los Angeles Lakers shows that the league doesn't let the big market teams get away with violence on the court.

I'm also thinking of the revised dress code. That was a smart move by Stern, to require players to dress like millionaire athletes, rather than gangsta thugs. Kobe getting suspended, the dress code, 'Melo's suspension ... its all part of the same program, to clean up and repackage the NBA. And Kobe is a bitch 'cause he ain't part of the NBA's new marketing plan.

KOBE BRYANT IS SOFT

What kind of guy has to resort to violence when his game can't speak for itself?

Oh yeah, Kobe Bryant.